It don’t mean a thing…

‘Twas time for swing dancing!  It’s been a while since I’d gone, and a while since I’d been out of the house, so I killed two birds with one stone tonight.  This time I arrived early and derived the benefits of the half-hour lesson that starts the evening (I missed it last time).  I learned some new steps and brushed up on the old ones.  I wasn’t worried about losing anything during my long absence; I spend most nights sliding around my house in my socks and underwear like Tom Cruise in Risky Business.  You know – practice.

Swing dancing is great  I finally get to dance with girls, and they actually seem to enjoy dancing with me!  Awesome.  Not only that, but the people there are all so friendly and outgoing and approachable.  It’s almost unnerving.  I’m not used to that.  Maybe I’ve unwittingly stumbled across a cult…  But what’s nice about swing dancing is that you can ask pretty much anyone there to dance and nobody turns you down.  You get a turn with everybody in the room.

Once again were a few young lovelies in attendance, some I recognized from last time and some new faces as well.  I took a few spins around the dance floor with each of them, which was great.  I was really getting into the “swing” of things.  They also play an occasional non-swing dance tune throughout the night, which mixes things up nicely.  I was in the middle of dancing with this real pretty girl when a waltz came on.  Ho, boy!  I may not know how to really swing yet, but I sure as hell know how to waltz.  However, the girl I was with didn’t.

“It’s easy,” I told her, putting one arm around her and holding up her other arm.  “Just follow my lead…” And away we went!  In fact, all the couples formed up into one ring encircling the entire dance floor.  It was awesome.  Probably the closest I’ll get to being in a Viennese Ball.  But what I wouldn’t give to find someone I could do this with all the time.

The girl in my arms sighed contentedly at the end of the dance.  “You’ll have to show me how to waltz sometime,” she said.  “I just wish my boyfriend could dance like that…”

Boyfriend.  Of course.

But whatever.  Tonight was easily the most fun I’ve had in some time.

Swingers

The long wait was finally over.  I’d wanted to try this for eons.  It wasn’t until tonight that I finally took the plunge and experienced it for the first time.

I approached the venue with trepidation, worried about the possibility of spending an evening cooped up with a crowd more akin to Bingo Night.  But alas!  Upon my entrance I immediately noticed a number of lovely young ladies.  I eyed them hungrily from opposite the room.  I was a lion on the hunt, a tiger lying in wait, a tomcat on the prowl.

Meow.

They held this shindig every week, devoting the first thirty minutes to acquainting everyone with their limbs and different positions to try. I paired up with one of the older, more seasoned ladies.  She grinned at me.

“So.  Did your friends drag you here or what?”  No.  I assured her I came of my own volition.  She nodded, apparently satisfied.  She took hold of me and told me where to place my feet.  I obeyed, not willing to quarrel with a more experienced woman.

Before long we settled into a routine and found each other’s rhythm.

“You’re really good at this!” she gasped at one point, clearly impressed with my abilities.

“What can I say?” I sighed, adopting my best aw-shucks persona.  “I guess I’m a fast learner.”

“Well, keep it up!  The better you are at this, the more girls will like you.”  I barely stopped myself from rolling my eyes.  I had been doing this by myself ever since I was a teenager, but I’d never seen firsthand proof that girls liked it too.  I supposed it was true.

After a short while the organizers called out for everyone to stop.  It was time for the real party to begin!  They dimmed the lights, put on some music and served drinks to help us get in the mood.  We were encouraged to switch partners constantly – regardless of whether we were finished – with the ultimate goal of taking turns with everybody in the room.

This is it, I told myself.  Time for my big debut.  Don’t be nervous…

I spent the first part of the night with a few more older women until I finally relaxed enough to take a turn with some of the girls around my age.  The first girl was okay looking, but she exhaled a scent like moldy cheese.  Ugh.  I didn’t last long with her; I couldn’t take her heavy breathing in my face any more.  The second one was really pretty, but she was there with someone and I felt really self-conscious with him watching.

Then I saw the next girl and my eyes nearly fell out of my head.  Wowshe’s really fit.  What a body!  I took a deep breath, put an arm around her and pulled her into me, and then we started to move.  Oh my God, this feels so good!  This is what I’ve been missing out on?  Why didn’t I try this sooner!?

I wasn’t expecting much conversation, but she wanted to talk.  I did the best I could, as I was trying to stay focused and concentrated on what I was doing.

“Is this your first time?” she asked.  Ha.  There was obviously no fooling her.

“Yeah… definitely my first time,” I said.  No worries, though.  She was very supportive and encouraging, and before I knew it I had found my mojo and we were really going at it.  It was even better than before!  I was positively bursting with excitement.  I heard singing in my head:  “Heaven… I’m in heaven… and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak… and I seem to find the happiness I seek…”

Then she went and burst my bubble.  “I usually come here with my boyfriend but he couldn’t make it this week…”  Ugh.  Way to spoil the moment.  But I got over it.  There were other ladies during the night, but none were as fine as she.  No matter.  I’m definitely going back there again.  This is just the kind of thing I’ve been looking for.

I really like swing dancing.