Well.  That was interesting.  And unexpected.  An hour before our last dance practice, Dancer Chick messaged me and another girl in the class to see if we wanted to go out for drinks afterwards.

Hell yeah.  The best times are always spontaneous and unplanned.

The end of class arrived, and it looked like it was just going to be me and DC, but Teacher decided to join us.  We walked to a bar two doors down and nabbed one of the last free tables.  DC sat on one side, and I made sure to sit next to Teacher on the other. The conversation was flowing, I had beers #2 and #3, and our drinking led to drinking games.  A lot of interesting facts came to light.

As it turns out.. I was wrong.  And I was right.  Teacher IS single, like I had initially thought.  I did mishear things after all.  I also found out why she broke up with her boyfriend, and this is the best part: He wanted marriage and kids, and she doesn’t want either.  Score!

Holy shit, this is awesome.  I never expected she’d be on the same page as me.  Naturally, I took the opportunity to casually mention I wasn’t interested in marriage or kids either.  Teacher didn’t say anything, but I knew she was listening to every word.  But DC was really surprised to hear that, and I had no problem telling her all about it since I didn’t give a fuck what she thought.  If you remember, she’d pretty much already told me she wasn’t interested, and I’d lost interest as well.


Teacher rubbed my back at one point during the evening, and later when I got up to go to the bathroom I put my hand on her leg as I was getting out of my chair.  Too bad the table wasn’t bugged, as I would have given anything to know whether the two girls were talking about me while I was inside peeing buckets.

We stayed for another half-hour before calling it a night.  Teacher walked us back to the studio so she could let me and DC out the back door, since we’d parked in the rear lot.  DC went out first, and Teacher was standing there grinning at me and holding the door open. I thought I was just going to get a “good night” from her like I usually do, but when I got close she came up and gave me a hug and I gave her a kiss on the cheek (my turn, this time). I also ran my hand up and down her back just once before I disengaged.  Once again, nothing aggressive, just the briefest of non-offensive touches, but hopefully enough to drop a hint without being too obvious.

And that was that.  Overall I was very pleased with myself.  I didn’t blurt any dumb shit, or do anything that I’m now kicking myself over. I still worry that I might have been friend zoned, but I think if I can maintain a light level of flirting and stay distant otherwise, then I can very pull this off.

In fact, I’d already started taking that approach during our previous class – the distancing, anyway.  I was simply present without really saying much to her. And suddenly she had a few compliments for me – telling me how good I looked, mentioning that she was telling people about me…  Oh?  Talking to people about me?  I’m very curious to know what that’s about.  She also took hold of my arms to move me into position (since we were dancing in formation), and then she touched me on the arm again as I was leaving that night.

Meanwhile, she’s booked us a gig dancing at a local bar the Friday after next.  And bar = more drinking and flirting.  I’m feeling pretty confident – I know I can do this!  Otherwise the gods are just dangling the biggest carrot in the universe in front of me.  She likes the same music and dance, she doesn’t want marriage or kids, she’s offensive and vulgar and uses foul language… I mean, what’s not to like?


On another note, DC has pissed me off.  Back when I was having my first drink, she pulled out her phone to take a picture to document the moment.  “I’ll send it to you on Facebook!” she said.  I just shrugged and said okay. I didn’t ask; she volunteered.  But a month went by and I never got it.  During one of our Facebook chats I said, “oh btw – didn’t you take pictures from that night we all went out?”  No response.  Then another month went by and we were all hanging around after class and the subject of pictures came up.  I took the opportunity to turn to DC and go, “Hey, you never sent me those pics, did you?”  She laughed and said she would.  And I’m still waiting.   Those are the only two times I’ve mentioned to her, and I’m certainly not going to ask her again.   But what’s up with that?  I’m convinced that she has the pics but isn’t sending them to me for some reason.   JBlondie suggested that maybe she’s jealous… what do you think?

It don’t mean a thing…

‘Twas time for swing dancing!  It’s been a while since I’d gone, and a while since I’d been out of the house, so I killed two birds with one stone tonight.  This time I arrived early and derived the benefits of the half-hour lesson that starts the evening (I missed it last time).  I learned some new steps and brushed up on the old ones.  I wasn’t worried about losing anything during my long absence; I spend most nights sliding around my house in my socks and underwear like Tom Cruise in Risky Business.  You know – practice.

Swing dancing is great  I finally get to dance with girls, and they actually seem to enjoy dancing with me!  Awesome.  Not only that, but the people there are all so friendly and outgoing and approachable.  It’s almost unnerving.  I’m not used to that.  Maybe I’ve unwittingly stumbled across a cult…  But what’s nice about swing dancing is that you can ask pretty much anyone there to dance and nobody turns you down.  You get a turn with everybody in the room.

Once again were a few young lovelies in attendance, some I recognized from last time and some new faces as well.  I took a few spins around the dance floor with each of them, which was great.  I was really getting into the “swing” of things.  They also play an occasional non-swing dance tune throughout the night, which mixes things up nicely.  I was in the middle of dancing with this real pretty girl when a waltz came on.  Ho, boy!  I may not know how to really swing yet, but I sure as hell know how to waltz.  However, the girl I was with didn’t.

“It’s easy,” I told her, putting one arm around her and holding up her other arm.  “Just follow my lead…” And away we went!  In fact, all the couples formed up into one ring encircling the entire dance floor.  It was awesome.  Probably the closest I’ll get to being in a Viennese Ball.  But what I wouldn’t give to find someone I could do this with all the time.

The girl in my arms sighed contentedly at the end of the dance.  “You’ll have to show me how to waltz sometime,” she said.  “I just wish my boyfriend could dance like that…”

Boyfriend.  Of course.

But whatever.  Tonight was easily the most fun I’ve had in some time.

She wears an itsy-bitsy teeny-weeny yellow polka-dot bikini

I don’t understand why people on the checkout line always have to be right up my ass with their purchases.  Nudging me with their shopping carts.  Breathing on the back of my neck.  And as soon as one measly square inch of space opens up on the conveyor belt they rush to start piling on as many things as they can, vertically if they have to until it resembles a Jenga tower.

Really?  Is that somehow going to get you out of the store faster?  You do know there are still two people in front of you on line and you’re still going to have to stand here for six more minutes until they’re finished, right?  Sigh.  These are probably the same people that are burning rubber out of the parking lot because they’re in a big rush to get to the red light.


So I was at the store tonight, and sure enough I could sense somebody shifting back and forth behind me, and out of my peripheral vision I could see someone peeping around me.  Finally there came a nudge in my back.  I turned around.

“Hey, do you mind if I cut in front of you?  I’ve only got this one thing…” this girl asked me.  She held up her hand and dangling from her finger was a hanger with the tiniest bikini I’d ever seen.  And she had the body to wear it.  Wow.  Holy crap.  My jaw dropped open, and I think my eyes might have bugged out of my head a little.

“Uh… yeah, sure.  Go right ahead!” I finally squeaked out.

She laughed and put a hand on my upper arm.  “Oh no, I’m not really in a hurry!  I just wanted to see what you were going to say.  I thought you were going to give me a dirty look or something.”

My brain whirred frantically, struggling to produce a witty response.  I came up with: “Well, I might have given you a dirty look if it was a Monday or something…”  Huh!?  What the hell does that even mean??  However, she thought it was funny.  Strangely enough.

The line was at a standstill at this point, so she looked over and muttered to me, “My God, what is the hold up?”

“Who knows?” I said.  “Maybe they ran out of quarters or something.”

“Ha!  Don’t say that!  You don’t want to jinx us…” she told me.

“Well, usually when I’m on a non-moving line like this it’s because there’s an old lady at the front who’s rummaging in a purse the size of a potato sack trying to find a nickel or her 15% off Rice-A-Roni coupon,” I said.  She thought that was hilarious, and she started gripping my forearm instead.  By this point she wasn’t standing behind me anymore; she was right next to me. Huh?

Finally the line started moving again, and guess what happened when I got to the register?  No quarters.  So I had to stand there and wait for someone to bring them over so I could get my change.  Bikini Girl and I laughed about that, then we bade each other smiley good-nights and I walked out of the store in a daze.

As soon as I was outside on the sidewalk the fresh air hit me and I stopped in my tracks.  I stared unseeing at the parking lot in front of me.  I felt my brain running in overdrive.  That was one of the most bizarre things that’s happened to me in a long time.  What the hell just happened?  What was that all about?  Was she… hitting on me?  Is that possible?  Nah, that’s impossible.  Girls who look like that… don’t even talk to guys like me, let alone hit on them.  Or do they…? 

Nobody else had come out of the store yet, so I turned around and went right back in.  She was gone.  Completely went ghost on me.  Whoa.  I still have no idea what I was going to do or say when I found her, but she was nowhere to be found.  Dammit.  I turned back around and trudged out of the store, my heart hammering wildly in my chest.


Please tell me that I’m just reading way too much into this, as usual.  Please tell me I didn’t just miss the opportunity of a lifetime.