Well that didn’t last long. I was feeling certain urges, and since I’d heard talk of it I figured I’d try Hinge. I’m only a few days in and so far I’m not a fan. As the tagline says, there’s no swiping here. You fill in your stats, post a half-dozen pictures, and choose three questions to answer. The questions are things like: “Worst fad I ever participated in,” “A fact people are surprised to learn about me,” “My ideal first date is” or “I’ll fall for you if” etc. When someone likes your picture or answer, you can then message with them.
Unfortunately there’s no About Me and most people’s answers are generic and uninspiring. So while I come across many I find attractive, ultimately I have nothing to say to them. I need more to work with than basic pictures and “I like to have fun and laugh.” I’m also seeing many of the same faces from Bumble. Some of them I’ve even seen since I started online dating, which was several years ago. At least I’m not the only unlucky one out there.
But if you dig long enough you find a couple of prospects. I ended up with six, and I met one tonight.
She lived only a few miles away so I picked out a wine bar at a nice halfway point. I had a seat at the corner of the bar and thumbed through the drink menu while I waited. She walked in a few minutes after I arrived and she looked just like her pictures. Nice. After we got our drinks I led her to a table in the back where it was a little quieter and more private.
We talked for an hour and a half, but despite asking about her family, her job, her life goals, her gym routine, and whatever else I could think of… I can count on one hand the number of times she asked me anything at all about myself. I even left a number of gaps in the conversation to give her an opportunity to do so. Instead I had to keep volunteering information. I realized this about halfway through, after which it started to annoy me.
Finally at 10 I announced that we should get going because they were closing (which they were). We walked outside and she lingered there. I wondered for a wild second whether she wanted me to kiss her, but I doubted that. I hadn’t gotten any sense at all that she was interested in me. So I just gave her a hug, said nice to meet you, and trotted off. I said nothing about meeting again. And that was that.
So. Online dating. Same shit, different day. I still have five other prospects, but there’s only one other serious contender and that conversation is rather one-sided too. No reason to expect things to be any different in person. It’s just really hard to find someone I click with and where the banter is fire. Like I said in a previous post, it’s 1 out of 100 matches. I’ll give Hinge another week, by which point I’ll likely delete that too.
In other news, if you haven’t seen my previous post I’m doing an Ask Me Anything. If there’s anything you ever wondered about me, head over there and drop me line. I may collect all the questions and answers into a future post. And if you want to participate, please comment on that post instead of this one. That way it’s easier for me to keep track of all the Q&As.