Six years of blogging

Happy six year anniversary to my blog!  I can’t believe it’s been that long, and I’ve certainly come a long way.  I seemed to have caught the tail end of the craze though, because it’s a lot harder to find dating blogs on here nowadays.  It’s a shame that many of the ones I started with are no longer around.  One by one my favorite bloggers fell by the wayside as they found significant others, or at least better things to do with their time.

I’ve considered shuttering this blog too.   The month after I lost my virginity, my views went down by half and have continued their decline.  At my peak I received 3,000 to 4,000 views a month and an inquiry from a Washington Post reporter.  A slow day would garner 100 views, a new post would bring 200+.  Now a new post won’t even crack 100, even though I have more followers than ever.  I guess my journey is not as interesting ever since the climax.  However, I do enjoy writing and interacting with my fellow WordPressers, so I’m sticking around.

Bumble is sticking around too.  I’m on the verge of deleting it for the 20th time, though.  I don’t know why I keep trying, but until I have more luck meeting people the old-fashioned way it’s better than nothing.  I received a shit ton of matches from my recent trips into the city, but I’ve been eliminating them left and right:  Minimal and mediocre conversation?  Shitty availability?  Using the app to promote their Instagram or music and bartending gigs?  Undercover single mothers?  Goodbye.

Then I had another one of those 1 in 100 conversations.  Finally someone else that matched me in goofiness and witty banter, whom I really seemed to click with.  And then it all went to shit.  Everything was fine until she added me on Instagram and I scrolled through her old posts.   All I did was swipe with my finger for a minute or two to get to the end and texted her: “I see you were into fitness coaching back in the day?”

“Whoa, you went through my old posts??” she said.  Uh, yeah.  So what?  Who doesn’t do that when they add someone?  Was I using Instagram wrong?  It really weirded her out though.  I didn’t even like or comment on any posts, I simply asked a question.  What’s more, she had texted me a pic of her messy kitchen (due to party prep), and I had zoomed in on the background and commented on a wall decoration.   That didn’t sit right with her either – that I was looking in the background of her photos.

Add to that me playing the piano and not eating seafood, and it was too many red flags for her.  And just like that I was back to square one.  Just as well – if that’s her bar for weirdness then we were in for a rough ride.  But it amazes me sometimes – I hear so many women airing laundry lists of serious grievances about their men, yet they still date them.  Meanwhile, I’m put through the meat grinder for the silliest, nitpickiest little shit.

In some ways I feel like I’m still in the same spot as when I started this blog.  Yes, I’ve finally swiped the V-card.  However I’m still yearning to put at least one long-term adult relationship under my belt.   And I’m going be 35 this year.  Once again I wonder why it hasn’t happened yet and why it’s so frustratingly hard for me.  And I feel like I have a lot to offer the right person.

I have a job, a car, my own place.  I can cook and would love to do so for someone.  I’m cultivating hobbies and a social life.  I can communicate, as well as respond in a timely fashion.  I’m honest and open about my feelings.  I do my best to get to know the other person.  I’d be a supportive partner.  I’m not argumentative but I’m no pushover either.  When it comes to the bedroom not only do I have good stamina but I’m eager to please, ready to learn, and open to trying new things.  I know how to have a good time and plan fun activities.  I like to think I’m funny.  I even think I’m somewhat good looking.

Of course there’s always room for self-improvement and I’m always looking for ways to do so.  But I feel like there’s more working in my favor than against.  I just don’t seem to have that elusive “it” factor yet.  I don’t know.  In the meantime I’m going to do my best to meet people and keep putting my best foot forward.  We’ll see what happens.

New

I replaced all my furniture last week, and it’s like being in a new place right now.  And since I acquire so much for free in life, I don’t mind paying it forward by giving a lot away too.  This time I put a mountain of stuff out to the curb: a bed frame, a table, lamps, sofas, books, kitchen and bath supplies, a snowblower, a wood chipper, a bicycle, computer parts, Christmas decorations, electronics and miscellaneous items – you name it.  I posted it on Craigslist and it was all gone by the next morning.

So that’s more stuff off my list, and I crossed off a few others as well.  I went to my first bar trivia night.  I went to goat yoga (as seen below).  I don’t even really give a shit about yoga, I just wanted to frolic with goats.  Another highlight was the female-to-male ratio of 25:1.  But I was still more interested in the goats, who in turn were keenly interested in my water bottle.  No sooner had I sat down did three of them clamber over me, trying to eat the plastic label.  Talk about getting up close and personal.


Now I’m busy preparing my fall bucket list, even though it’s still technically summer for another week.  A week from today I’m jetting out to California (has it really been two years since I was there?)  When I come back I’m going apple picking, going to a haunted house, going on a haunted river paddle, hosting my first ever party for Halloween, and taking trips to Block Island, Old Saybrook and of course NYC.  And now that my car is up and running again, I’m thinking about getting a second one.  Maybe even a classic car.  That would be nice.

I’m gradually retooling this blog (as some of you have already noticed from the updated blog title).  There’s going to be a new focus over time and a streamlining of old posts.  And… I lied again.  I always swore that Facebook would be as far as I’d go with social media, but I broke down recently and joined Instagram.  I thought it would be a good way to document my fitness journey.  As a result I’m more inspired and motivated than ever, especially now that I know people are watching and following.  I’ve made new connections, and in fact I’m actually talking to someone new at the moment…

Stay tuned.

Crush

Image

Over the weekend I had a semi-date with a girl I’ve been crushing on for a long time.  She’s recently single and I made a move.  This was my chance at last. I asked if she’d like to get together and grab some food and sit and chat.  We’d been Facebook friends for a long time, and while we talked a lot and knew a lot of the same people our paths had somehow never crossed.  So I was a nervous wreck to be meeting her properly for the first time.  All last week I was dropping stuff, knocking things over, running to the bathroom to pee 20 times a day… feeling heart flutters, stomach flip-flops, and shortness of breath… She was the first girl in a long time that seriously interested me, and someone I could actually see myself with.

The big day finally arrived and I did absolutely everything I could to get ready.  I got a haircut and even bought a new pair of pants just for the occasion.  I met her at the local diner and when she walked through the door I was just – wow. I was quite taken with her.  We slid into a booth and I could have sat there all night just drinking in her image.  I barely took my eyes off of her.

Things started out well, but as the evening progressed I just got more and more tongue-tied.  That was the effect she was having on me.  I didn’t make any serious blunders and I avoided putting my foot in my mouth, but overall I felt like I didn’t make a very good first impression.  

After almost an hour-and-a-half we hugged and parted ways, and I said “maybe we should get together again sometime down the road…” She responded with a “yeah, maybe” but didn’t sound very enthusiastic.  And with that I went home with a heavy heart.  I felt like I just blew a very important job interview.  Ugh.  And now that she’s no longer sitting in front me, I can think of hundred things I could have said, could have asked about, should have said instead…as always, I think of the best responses hours or days later. FML. 

So that was that.  I’d like to give it another chance.  Maybe I’ll ask her if she wants to get together again.  A while back I’d clued her into a cool local nature spot (we’re both into that kind of stuff), and once the weather gets a little warmer I’ll drop her a line and see if she wants to come along with me to check it out.  I didn’t get any sense when I met her that she was interested in me like I was interested in her, but we’ll see.  In any case, right now it looks like I can probably cross her off my list.

Unfortunately, there’s nobody else on my list right now.  Not only have I not received any new messages on OKC, but nobody’s even visited my profile lately.  I logged in for the first time in almost two weeks and there wasn’t a single notification waiting for me.  I’m wondering if I should revert to a previous version of my profile, because what I have now doesn’t seem to be working this time around.

I’m already involved in various groups/organizations/activities.  Most of the girls I meet there are already in relationships, engaged, or married.  The few that are available are either not appealing or not interested.  I’m not sure what else I can do right now to meet new people.  I can’t fill up my social calendar any more than it already is – I’m already out and about 4-5 nights a week, and now that my job is picking up I’m going to be working like gangbusters from now through December.  

30 is starting to loom uncomfortably on the horizon.  I don’t have a deadline for being in a relationship (and consequently losing my virginity), but I really don’t want to have spent the entirety of my twenties being single with a total of only one or two dates to show for it.  I follow blogs by my peers and I read all about the dates they’re going on and the great sex they’re having and all the fun things they’re doing with their significant others, and it makes me sad.  This is time of my life that I want to be experiencing these things, and I feel like I’m really missing out.

I hate when people say things to me like, “Oh, don’t worry, so-and-so didn’t find someone until he was almost 50.”

50.

Um, yeah, that doesn’t cheer me one bit.

First dates:  2
Second dates:  0