Girl #60

My latest go-round with Bumble is winding down, but I met another match over the weekend.  I ignored the rules and red flags with this one.  Not to mention her pictures were all from the head/shoulders up, which is almost always a warning sign.  We added each other on Instagram and her pictures on there were the same.  In fact there are quite a few girls from Bumble that I’ve stopped talking to but are still lurking on my Instagram.  I’m paying them no mind because I’m also a whore for followers.

Anyway, I met this one at a bar not too far from where she lived.  As soon she walked in she confirmed my suspicions.  I looked at her and was not attracted.  She was nice enough, but nice is not enough.  And while our online chats were fire, in person our conversational styles and personalities clashed.  Not to mention it was hard to talk in a noisy bar.  “No bars” is another rule of mine, but it was a handy meeting spot plus I knew the band that was playing there. 

We stuck it out for an hour before parting ways.  Short and painless.  Afterwards I couldn’t help but wonder if I had gotten a glimpse at how dates view me when I walk through the door.  Some of them have certainly looked disappointed from the get-go.  In any event I’m trying my best to make myself fuckable.  I’ve been hitting the gym and the kitchen big time during my vacation and am very pleased with my progress.  Still have a ways to go yet…

In the meantime I’m thinking it’s time for another break from Bumble.  I also just realized that Valentine’s Day is upon us.  I don’t remember whether this is a good or bad time to be online dating.  All I do remember is that I haven’t had a Valentine since 2003.  Wow, has it really been that long?  Damn.  But we’ll see what happens.  I also have some stories to share that predate this blog, so look for those soon.

17 thoughts on “Girl #60

  1. I’ve only had one young woman follow me from instagram and while I did try to get something going with her beyond Tinder it seemed she wasn’t that interested. Eventually she unfollowed me on instagram. It was a fail, but it was certainly a case of no interest. I think social media is great for meeting people too bad it’s seen as mostly an image thing.

  2. I’m sure I’ve commented on the statements you’ve made about ‘warning signs’ from pics before – head and shoulders shots a non-no? I know guys like to get an idea of the full package, but there is also the fact that some of us hate to pose for pics (even with a friend) and the selfie cam really doesn’t stretch much if you don’t have one of those ridiculous sticks! Not all of us are trying to hide a body that is less than perfect (for the male gaze). Really, I find this attitude a bit insulting.

    • That is what I thought too. I don’t have much photographic evidence of my existence, and a dude would be missing out if they judged off that.

      This post made me actually think “thank fuck I’m not single” (which I hate that it crossed my mind, Cos I don’t like to judge based off of relationship status), because if guys are so brutal as to judge someone off the bat like that, I’d rather go live in a cave with scorpions biting my ass.

      • Well put unicorn! TFUV and I have had some conversation about this in the past and I agree with you – thankfully I have always found plenty of men who don’t judge me based on a head shot or head and upper torso shot but it’s possible I’ve been missing out on a chance with men who by default, consider me inappropriate. But then again, it’s their loss 🙂

        • It’s a ridiculous assertion that anyone would be attracted to everyone – no, that’s not how the world works. However, anyone I have encountered in a possibly romantic context I have definitely not judged with superficiality, and given them a go. If I stuck to a physical type and judged as such, then I wouldn’t be 7 years deep in a loving relationship right now. But that’s just me I guess, I find music taste and good grammar surpasses a lush set of black hair *shrugs*

            • The point isn’t whether or not you are attracted to someone, it’s having a little bit of humility in the way it is handled. Perhaps it was just a poor choice of written words, but it sounded superficial and jerky. Insinuates you’re looking at some rotting monster, vs “eh there’s no tingle here.”. I try and treat others how I want to be treated, so if I don’t like being looked at like a used condom full of cockroaches in a gutter, I’d choose my words more wisely.

            • I know I’m a bit late in replying to this, but I’ve been browsing old posts during lockdown. You’re saying this as if I didn’t give her a chance or treated her poorly in person. I still gave her a chance and accorded her the respect she deserved. At no point did I look at her like she was a rotting monster, nor a used condom full of cockroaches… but I guess I can see how you might have gotten that impression. Besides – do you know how many dating blogs I’ve read by women making all manner of criticism about a guy’s photos or in-person appearance, and often sounding way more superficial or jerky than myself? I may not like it or agree, but I accept that you (usually) can’t argue attraction and that’s just the way it is. Unless it’s simply a matter of my having a poorly-worded blog post.

              Also – “I don’t have much photographic evidence of my existence, and a dude would be missing out if they judged off that.” I’m glad that may have worked for you, but that’s just not how it works with most people when it comes to online dating. There’s a reason that virtually every online dating advice column I’ve ever read specifies not only a well-written bio, but having more than one photo and at least one clear full-body shot.

            • Soz for the late reply!
              I’m laughing that I actually said used condom full of cockroaches – what an image!
              I’ve been a Reddit creeper and it’s really sad how many women and men and people are out there saying awful things about people’s appearance, I definitely feel you there.
              Yeah I think stuff just got a bit lost in translation, such is the problems with blogs and texts sometimes – we miss the added value that person to person communication can add to ones point!

              In other news, I’ve been away from here for a billion years, I hope the journey has treated you kindly!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s