I do not want kids. Not now, not ever. Nor do I want to deal with anyone else’s kids. Even if I liked kids, I couldn’t rationalize a single reason for having them – between the emotional and financial burden and the possibility of the world facing a Mad Max-like dystopian future.
Some people feel that children give their life meaning, but I do not feel my life is meaningless without them. And I do not feel for one second that I’m missing out on anything. I see other people with kids and all I can think is: “Thank god that’s not me.”
This provokes a variety of reactions, ranging from confusion to consternation. And I’m a man. I can only imagine what childfree women have to deal with. I’m especially amused by people who accuse me of being selfish. Okay, so… what’s the problem? Shouldn’t you be glad I’m not having kids then? Do you want me to be a shitty parent with an unwanted child? It’s not like we don’t have enough of those already.
Speaking of parents, people like my dad think it’s my religious duty to have offspring. Of course he would think that. Thanks to him, I spent my formative years picketing and praying outside abortion clinics, absorbing rocks and bottles and insults from passersby. Sorry, but slavish devotion to religious dogma is not going to work as a reason for me either. I gave up religion a long time ago and couldn’t give two flips about “be fruitful and multiply.”
Others smirk at me and go, “Well, you say that now, but just wait until you meet the right person.” Huh? How does the “right person” suddenly make me like or want kids? And if she wants kids, then how is she the right person? Why would I even be dating someone who wants kids in the first place? Which brings me to dating. I’ve been adamant about not wanting kids over the course of this blog. What I had been less certain about was when and whether to disclose it during the dating process.
Part of me thought that honesty was the best policy. The rest of me thought that was an exceptionally bad idea. I was already having horrible luck with women; shooting myself in the foot wouldn’t help. But I also didn’t think it was fair to lead anyone on or waste their time. I didn’t have the heart to lie, even though some encouraged me to do just that. The first time it came up on a date, I was honest and it tanked the rest of the evening. After that I did my best to waffle or avoid the subject altogether.
That was pre-virginity loss. Now with that out of the way, and plenty of dating experience under my belt, I have less fucks to give. My luck with women may have marginally improved since then, but I care a lot less about the results. Now I don’t hesitate to say, “I don’t want kids.” I’m not going to hide anything. If they don’t like that, then too bad. We’re simply incompatible for the long-term. However, I’d still consider a fling.
Speaking of flings – you may remember there were a couple of girls I was eyeballing as potentials. I mentioned them in previous posts. Long story short, I lost interest and moved on. I figured that was that and things would remain as they were. But then things changed in a way I never expected or thought possible. I met someone, and have an exciting new story to tell.
More on that next…