California Girl doesn’t want to see me again. I waited three days before texting her again:
Me: Hey, how’s your week going?
CG: Hey, week is going well. How’s yours?
Me: Things are awesome. Work is starting to pick up. I’ve also been thinking about our next outdoor adventure…
…since she had she’d be up for another one. I let that hang for a bit but I didn’t get a response, so I followed up.
Me: Weather looks questionable this weekend – would you settle for a food adventure in the meantime?
CG: I’m not available this weekend, have friends coming into town from CA. While I think you are a very nice person and enjoyed meeting you, I don’t think we are a fit and don’t want to waste your time. Best of luck on Cupid!
Me: Oh. Not even as friends? I thought that was all you’re looking for right now? I thought we got on pretty well…what makes you say that?
At this point I figured I had nothing to lose by asking, so I did:
Me: And as far as OKC goes I’ve been on 40 first dates and little more. If you have any feedback I’d love to hear it.
CG: Yeah, a lot of people go on many dates before finding the right fit. I think dating is just difficult in our day and age.
Me: Well I’m sorry I won’t see you again. Best of luck to you as well.
CG: I don’t think my opinion represents all of your experiences. If you want to know why I think you and I are not a fit, I’m happy to share my thoughts.
Me: Yeah, go for it.
CG: I think you are looking for more. And I don’t feel we have much in common.
Me: Maybe not but we hardly know each other. I barely scratched the surface with you and there’s much more I wanted to know. But I appreciate your feedback.
CG: You asked me for feedback and I’m letting you know my experience. I genuinely wish you the best.
However our texts crossed each other because as soon as I received that from her I’d already sent:
Me: Just curious what made you think I’m looking for more? Did I give off that impression.
CG: You gave me a hug when before we left, you kissed me on the cheek when we met, and just asked me why you are struggling to get a second date. All of those things to me indicate more interest. And I feel this conversation is no longer helpful so I’m going to end it now.
Yeah, so that was pretty much it. I should have just left it alone, but since I’ll never see her again I didn’t see the harm in asking.
Fortunately I already had another date lined up with The Comedian. She’s one of the three Tuesday girls that canceled on me (so I’ll revise my counter). She lives very close by and we met at the local ale house. This time I made sure to dress up more than usual, especially since this was a less casual date than the others. I waited inside the front doors but it turned out she was already inside. When we saw each other there was a mutual hug. No handshake, no kiss on the cheek, and no awkwardness.
We opted for a booth and thankfully the place was quieter than I expected. Judging from the parking lot I thought it would be bonkers inside, but it wasn’t and we were able to have a conversation. TC was even more inquisitive than CG, which I took as a good sign. And when she’s not busy with school, she’s busy with her theater group – singing and dancing and doing comedy skits. Sounds like a good fit for me. Nonetheless I made sure to hold back and keep my jokes PG.
When it comes to women I often feel like I have to walk a tightrope, waiting to be cast into the abyss for the slightest misstep. I second-guess everything leaving my mouth now. It’s one thing to talk and act a certain way with your friends, it’s another to be that way with someone you’re meeting for the first time and I try to be mindful of that. Especially when I seem to put my foot in my mouth more often than not.
In any case, things seemed to go pretty well. We were there for two hours. We talked about music, comedy, our respective upbringings and career paths… I did my best to keep my rambling in check. I feel I avoided any serious blunders. I slipped in the occasional bright remark and she thought I was hilarious. Then I even dared to share a few of my dating stories – a subject I usually try to avoid altogether. Out of all the girls I’ve met so far, she has the clearest picture of my dating history. Whether that’s a good or bad thing remains to be seen. But she told me some of her own stories so we’re even in that department.
At the end of the night I suggested we get together again. She said she’d like to as well. Yeah, we’ll see. But she said she liked me and felt comfortable with me. We gave each other a hug before we parted ways and I promised to be in touch soon. I probably could have and should have gone for a kiss, but honestly I’m not sure how attracted I am to her yet. I will definitely go on a second date with her if she accepts, and then I’ll get a better idea.
First dates: 33
Second dates: 3
Third dates: 2
Stood up: 2
First kisses: 2