Spring has arrived and it’s dating season once more.  I’m searching on OKC again and my inexhaustible supply of matches continues to astound me.  I can only imagine how many more I’d have if I lived in the city as opposed to the suburbs.

I felt like hot shit when I triple-booked Tuesday.  That’s right, I had three dates lined up.  Then one by one they all canceled.  This one had to drive her sister someplace, this one was with her mom at the hospital, this one had a quiz to study for… Two of them made noises about rescheduling, but the ball’s in their court.  I told them to let me know when is good for them and I left it at that.  In the meantime I’m moving on with my search.

I did score two dates over the weekend, though:

This one I reeled in via one of my let’s-see-if-this-gets-a-response messages.  She wrote back and before long we exchanged numbers and started texting.  The conversation got better and better until we agreed that we had to meet.  A date was set for Saturday night at a crepe place.  We were just as excited about meeting as we were at the prospect of food.

I was positive that we would hit it off and I had a really good feeling about things, but she telegraphed her disinterest the second she walked into the door.  I hadn’t even stood up or said one word yet.  I gave her a hug which she weakly reciprocated, and we took a seat after ordering our food.

Things were just totally off.  I did my best to engage with her, but despite our shared dance background (we’d even attended the same school) I just couldn’t get a conversation going.  I went from topic to topic.  Nothing.  Of course, it would have helped if she had participated.  She gave me one-sentence answers and then silence, punctuated by glances at her phone or around the shop.  She didn’t ask me a single question about myself, even when I volunteered information. Talking to the wall would have been more productive.

No sooner had I taken my last bite did she start pulling on her coat.  “Well, you’re putting on your jacket so I guess that means you’re ready to leave,” I said dryly.  We’d only been there for 40 minutes.

“Yeah,” she said.  “I’m sorry, I’m just not feeling this.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” she grimaced at me.  “There’s just something about you I can’t put my finger on.”  She paused.  “You’re kinda nerdy, I guess.  Too straight-edge for me.  And the way you’re dressed…”  This coming from the girl wearing a basic sweater and jeans and next to no makeup.  Meanwhile I thought I looked pretty good.  I wore the same jeans and button-down I wore when I met my new friend Emma, and she said I looked good.

“What’s wrong with the way I’m dressed?” Well, she didn’t like that I was wearing sneakers, going so far as to put her head under the table to look at them.  What the fuck.  This was the problem?  Was I supposed to put on dress shoes to eat crepes?   Now I was getting really annoyed, and I was right on her heels to leave.  When we were outside I just said goodbye and that was it.  So… yeah.  That was pretty disappointing.  And I just couldn’t get over the disconnect between the girl I talked to online and the one I met in person.

This one was actually on Easter.  I’ll call her California Girl.  She’s only in NY for a year for her graduate program and she’s going back to California in August.  She’s more of an outdoorsy type so I suggested a walk through the nature preserve.  When she arrived I took Gratuitous Rex’s advice to dispense with the hugging and just grasp her hand and kiss her on the cheek instead.  However she seemed totally caught off guard and I got her on the ear instead of her cheek.  Woo.  Awkward.

I turned her attention to the ducks clustered nearby, but they weren’t interested in the lettuce I brought.  Damn.  Awkward on two fronts now.  So I gave up on my web-footed friends and led her through the park instead.  Once we got past that rough beginning things went a little more smoothly.  And what a difference from the previous night. CG actually knew how to participate in a conversation.  Quite refreshing.

We toured the preserve, discussing the differences between NY and CA, swapping online dating stories, talking about our jobs, and then we found a giant orb in the middle of a field.  Upon closer inspection we found a slit in the side and an inscription:  “Cartas al Cielo.” Letters to the Sky.  A celestial mailbox for delivering messages to the heavens. We each wrote something and put it inside.  I’d say that was a pretty cool find.


We were there for almost two hours before calling it a day.  She wants to explore as much of NY as she can while she’s here and she said she was open to another outdoor adventure with me.  However I got the impression that I was completely friend zoned.  She showed zero interest in anything beyond that, so if we do get together again that’s all it’ll be.  It just sucks because I found her really attractive and easy to talk to.  Even though I was nervous and tongue tied some of the time… just can’t seem to get past that no matter how many dates I go on.


First dates:  32
Second dates:  3
Third dates:  2
Cancellations:  10
Stood up:  2
First kisses: 2


So I made out with one of my blog followers.  Yeah, that happened.  It all began a few posts ago.  Perhaps some of you saw it.  She commented that it was too bad that we didn’t live in the same part of the country, because after reading my story she kinda wanted to take my virginity.


As it turned out, we actually did live in the same part of the U.S.  She was in the next county, as a matter of fact.  We quickly exchanged emails. Her name was Anastasia. The scoop was that she was 21 and she had a fantasy about taking a guy’s virginity.  And she was in an open marriage.  Yeah… erm… I wasn’t sure how I felt about that part.    But two out of three worked for me, and even if we decided not to do anything sexual I was curious to meet her either way.

We arranged the ubiquitous coffee date at a halfway point. I noted that she was gorgeous and very shapely.  Mmm.  We greeted each other, she got herself a drink, and then we moved further towards the back door. away from the noisy espresso machine and out of earshot of the employees.  The shop was small and we were the only customers, and I wanted a spot where we’d have free rein to discuss anything.

I shared some of my dating stories, we talked about our families, and of course we talked about sex. It was clear that she was into me and she asked if I was interested in getting it on with her. I said I was. She was strikingly beautiful. I knew I was going to kiss her. After two hours we each took a bathroom break and then called it a night.

We walked outside after setting up a tentative second “date” for the weekend.  She stopped and turned to face me and I took a deep breath.  Then she informed me that her husband was waiting in the parking lot on the other side of the building.  She didn’t have a car so he drove her.  Haha not awkward at all.   So if I was going to do it, it was now or never.

I hugged her, kissed her on the check, and then I pulled back a little.  We looked at each other for a split second and proceeded to make out for several minutes.   It’d been forever since I’d kissed anyone like that. It felt wonderful, way better than it ever did with Shorty.   I put my hands anywhere I dared – on her neck, up and down her back and her sides, and finally I reached behind and gave her lovely round ass an experimental squeeze.  Holy shit.  It felt so good to grab a handful of female flesh.

My memory is a little fuzzy, but I think it was at that moment that she started biting my lip.  We broke apart a couple of times to catch our breath, and at one point her hand drifted down to cop a feel.  She only touched my pocket and missed her target by a few inches.  Eventually things cooled down.  We said good night and parted ways.  But before we did she said, “Oh, one more thing!  I want you to feel my tits before you go.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder and thrust her chest at me.  I didn’t hesitate and cupped them in my hands.  She laughed and said, “I just wanted you to make sure they were big enough for you.” Oh yeah.  Definitely enough to work with there.

I’m still surprised at how okay I was with the whole situation.  I drove home in a pleasant daze.  The next couple of days I experienced a remarkable change.  Suddenly I was completely relaxed and comfortable around any girls I encountered.  There was no tension at all.  I felt like… like I was on a more even footing with them, I guess?  Amazing what a little kissing can do for you.  Unfortunately the effects wore off before long.

Anastasia and I exchanged a few scintillating messages during the rest of the week.  However our planned Saturday meet-up didn’t work out.  Things got crazy and the following week didn’t work for her either.  And then her planned move to Florida happened much sooner than expected.  I never got to see her a second time.  Damn.

It’s probably just as well, though.  I admitted to her that I was having second thoughts. She agreed that we could take things slow, but the open marriage was giving me pause.  While I was okay with making out and some fooling around, I wasn’t sure that this was how I wanted to lose my virginity.  Some of you are probably facepalming right now and about to tell me that beggars can’t be choosers, and I should have done everything possible to take advantage of the opportunity to just get it over with already.  But it is what it is, and I’m grateful for this bit of experience.

First dates:  30
Second dates:  3
Third dates:  2
Cancellations:  7
Stood up:  2
First kisses: 2
Sexual experiences:  0.6