Spring has arrived and it’s dating season once more. I’m searching on OKC again and my inexhaustible supply of matches continues to astound me. I can only imagine how many more I’d have if I lived in the city as opposed to the suburbs.
I felt like hot shit when I triple-booked Tuesday. That’s right, I had three dates lined up. Then one by one they all canceled. This one had to drive her sister someplace, this one was with her mom at the hospital, this one had a quiz to study for… Two of them made noises about rescheduling, but the ball’s in their court. I told them to let me know when is good for them and I left it at that. In the meantime I’m moving on with my search.
I did score two dates over the weekend, though:
This one I reeled in via one of my let’s-see-if-this-gets-a-response messages. She wrote back and before long we exchanged numbers and started texting. The conversation got better and better until we agreed that we had to meet. A date was set for Saturday night at a crepe place. We were just as excited about meeting as we were at the prospect of food.
I was positive that we would hit it off and I had a really good feeling about things, but she telegraphed her disinterest the second she walked into the door. I hadn’t even stood up or said one word yet. I gave her a hug which she weakly reciprocated, and we took a seat after ordering our food.
Things were just totally off. I did my best to engage with her, but despite our shared dance background (we’d even attended the same school) I just couldn’t get a conversation going. I went from topic to topic. Nothing. Of course, it would have helped if she had participated. She gave me one-sentence answers and then silence, punctuated by glances at her phone or around the shop. She didn’t ask me a single question about myself, even when I volunteered information. Talking to the wall would have been more productive.
No sooner had I taken my last bite did she start pulling on her coat. “Well, you’re putting on your jacket so I guess that means you’re ready to leave,” I said dryly. We’d only been there for 40 minutes.
“Yeah,” she said. “I’m sorry, I’m just not feeling this.”
“I don’t know,” she grimaced at me. “There’s just something about you I can’t put my finger on.” She paused. “You’re kinda nerdy, I guess. Too straight-edge for me. And the way you’re dressed…” This coming from the girl wearing a basic sweater and jeans and next to no makeup. Meanwhile I thought I looked pretty good. I wore the same jeans and button-down I wore when I met my new friend Emma, and she said I looked good.
“What’s wrong with the way I’m dressed?” Well, she didn’t like that I was wearing sneakers, going so far as to put her head under the table to look at them. What the fuck. This was the problem? Was I supposed to put on dress shoes to eat crepes? Now I was getting really annoyed, and I was right on her heels to leave. When we were outside I just said goodbye and that was it. So… yeah. That was pretty disappointing. And I just couldn’t get over the disconnect between the girl I talked to online and the one I met in person.
This one was actually on Easter. I’ll call her California Girl. She’s only in NY for a year for her graduate program and she’s going back to California in August. She’s more of an outdoorsy type so I suggested a walk through the nature preserve. When she arrived I took Gratuitous Rex’s advice to dispense with the hugging and just grasp her hand and kiss her on the cheek instead. However she seemed totally caught off guard and I got her on the ear instead of her cheek. Woo. Awkward.
I turned her attention to the ducks clustered nearby, but they weren’t interested in the lettuce I brought. Damn. Awkward on two fronts now. So I gave up on my web-footed friends and led her through the park instead. Once we got past that rough beginning things went a little more smoothly. And what a difference from the previous night. CG actually knew how to participate in a conversation. Quite refreshing.
We toured the preserve, discussing the differences between NY and CA, swapping online dating stories, talking about our jobs, and then we found a giant orb in the middle of a field. Upon closer inspection we found a slit in the side and an inscription: “Cartas al Cielo.” Letters to the Sky. A celestial mailbox for delivering messages to the heavens. We each wrote something and put it inside. I’d say that was a pretty cool find.
We were there for almost two hours before calling it a day. She wants to explore as much of NY as she can while she’s here and she said she was open to another outdoor adventure with me. However I got the impression that I was completely friend zoned. She showed zero interest in anything beyond that, so if we do get together again that’s all it’ll be. It just sucks because I found her really attractive and easy to talk to. Even though I was nervous and tongue tied some of the time… just can’t seem to get past that no matter how many dates I go on.
First dates: 32
Second dates: 3
Third dates: 2
Stood up: 2
First kisses: 2