Touch

I’ve been thinking about going for a massage lately.  Not the kind with a happy ending, although one of those would be nice too. But I’m kinda starved for another person’s touch, something I think most people take for granted.  I don’t think I’ve ever received a massage in my life.  I gave my ex a few neck and back rubs, but she never reciprocated. Finally I asked her one day if she would oblige me.  (Sucks when you have to ask.)  She proceeded to run her palm in wide circles around my back for about five minutes before complaining that her hand was tired and then stopped.

So… yeah.  That’s about it for me.

The idea came to me when I visited Atlantic City a couple of months ago.  It seemed like every third storefront on the boardwalk was a massage place.  Tempting, but I decided to wait until I was back on home turf, especially since some of the places were a bit seedy-looking. I’m thinking of scheduling one in December or January when I’m finished with work.  That way I can fully enjoy it.  My job is a bit rough on the joints and muscles and it would be great to work out the kinks in my body.

In the meantime, the idea came to me yet again when I got a haircut the other day.  I went to that place that does the hot towels and scalp massage.  The same place I made that Freudian slip to the girl cutting my hair.  I got the same girl again.  That was almost a year ago so I didn’t remember her at first, although I had no trouble once again recognizing her as hot. We had a fun chat while she worked, discussing how much Halloween sucks nowadays – because it really does.  Has anyone else noticed this?  I don’t know how it is where you live, but around here it’s become a rather dismal affair.  The number of trick-or-treaters has shrunk to virtually nothing, there are no shaving cream or silly string fights anymore, and by 5PM everything is dead.  No pun.

Anyway.  When it came time for the hot towel and scalp massage (along with a shampoo and rinse) I found myself both content and a little sad.  It was really nice to feel a girl’s hands on me even if it was non-sexual and strictly business.   But it also reminded me of what I was missing out on.  Jesus.  I need to step up my game some more.  I’m going to be the 31-year-old virgin next month.  And I can forget about her.  I finally found her on Facebook, and she has a boyfriend (three years).  Of course.  I’ve said it a hundred times: they always have boyfriends.  She’s also much younger than I realized.  Not that I have a problem with that.

Speaking of which…

Dance class was canceled the following week, so I didn’t see New Face until the other night.  Her real name is Missy.  She seemed excited to see me once again.  When I came in the door she got all breathless and flustered and dropped her bag.  I take that as a good sign.  I talked to her and learned a little more about her.  When I got home I finally found her on Facebook too.  Damn… I knew she was young but she’s really young.  She only just started college, which means she’s 18 or 19 at most.  Oh yeah, and she happens to be Facebook friends with my niece. That could get awkward. But what the hell.  Let’s see what happens.

And a quick rundown:

-Nothing more with Melody.  If she genuinely wants to be friends first, she’s certainly not acting like it.  I’m the only one who initiates contact; she never does.  And when I do engage her in conversation, it’s rather one-sided.  Never asks me anything in return.  So forget it.  Even if I wanted to see her again, she already said she has no time.  I don’t need any more hints.

-Nothing more with The Babysitter.  I texted her with a second date suggestion and she finally came back a couple of days later with:  “Hi sorry for not getting back to you sooner but I’ve been really busy and I’m trying to go back to school so I don’t think I’ll have much or any free time I’m sorry.”  Yeah, I know what that means.  I texted back: “So… not interested, in other words?”  No response.  Oh well.  Moving on.

I’ve exchanged messages with some more girls on OKC, but most of them petered out.  I have a couple I’m talking to right now, so we’ll see what happens.  Bit of a disappointing crop on there this year, but I’m continuing my search.

I can do this.

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19 thoughts on “Touch

  1. I am also craving touch from a woman in a way more than friends. I would love to be cuddled, be given a massage, massage a woman, cuddle a woman, I was jealous when seeing couples during college cuddle or be very intimate in touch. Maybe ask Kaitlyn if she has any single friends who might be a good match for you. Kaitlyn seems really nice and has a good sense of humor and conversation skills. (Maybe she has a hot older sister?) Maybe seek cuddle therapy?

  2. I used to know people who did “cuddle parties” non sexual but for getting in some touch. I heard great things about it. I understand what you mean about lacking touch. I’ve been there. Keep going.

  3. A professional massage, they can be very relaxing but not supposed to be erotic, unless with an intimate partner where you are doing it for each other’s pleasure. Me and my girlfriend both had them recently and it really helped me take my mind off work, I felt floating on a cloud for the next few hours but it didn’t turn me on. It’s a completely different experience from when we are massaging each other as foreplay.

    I think it would be a bad idea for you to do it, because you’ll want to keep doing it again and again. They are not cheap and you have the danger of becoming attached to the girl / woman who does it.

    As for your girlfriend moaning about her hands getting tired, she was very selfish and you’re right, you should have to ask for physical contact like that – she should be asking what you like. Did you use oil? If not, you really should have done.

    Nothing more with Melody. If she genuinely wants to be friends first, she’s certainly not acting like it. I’m the only one who initiates contact; she never does.

    Don’t waste your time. If she was interested in anything, she would have done so by now. I got the “let#s be friends” talk two years ago from a fun (and funny) woman but I never heard from her again after saying I would see her soon. A shame, because we had a really good laugh and I genuinely would have liked to be friends with her.

  4. I identify as incel, though I admit I SOMEHOW got very, very lucky totally out the blue. I’m nothing special, small, thin average looking, used to have zero friends and very shy.

    Story goes, Incel until 23, (8 1/2 years ago) then without warning an absolute stunner waaay out of my league approched me.

    I have NEVER approached a woman and I’m 32 now, if my 3 exes had not have approached me (indeed number 2 and 3, both beautiful and 4-5 younger than me, I resisted their advances for a while, convinced that I would screw it up somehow) then I would be a virgin incel to this day. After number one finished with me after 3 years, I had NO friends as I only knew her friends and her family and was in a different country so it was TOTAL isolation, I was seriously ready to do a George Sodini.

    I spent 6 weeks in total isolation, zero human interaction (apart from when my ex dropped my 18 month old off), unemployed so no human contact there and realised this was my life forever. I prepared letters, mostly filled with vitriol for my ex, had some blunt objects on me and went to the local bar for some dutch courage before the act. Then a miracle happened, me been socially inept, suddenly (something to do with me being Irish and a “mysterious stranger” in a little English town perhaps), I managed to fit right in?!

    I could not believe it, I dropped the George Sodini plan and began to go in everyday and, still been hopeless around women but perhaps with growing confidence and a social circle building, plus been quiet with an Irish accent, I got approched by a woman miles out of my league. I tried to sneak out and leave, coward that I am, though got spotted and she linked my arm and I walked her back to mine and hey presto. When that ended after 7 months, about a month or so afterwards, the sequence repeated itself and I had another 3 year relationship.

    Now, given everything, and I know I’m lucky as I now have about 80+ friends built up over 5 years since my almost George Sodini episode, and I do have confidence now, I’m WILLINGLY celibate believe it or not! My reasons are that I have 3 kids with 3 women, so enough is enough there, and I really loved number 2 and she sadly died 2 years ago. Her death played a huge part in ending my relationship with number 3, therefore I don’t believe it fair to have another relationship as no woman can ever live up to her in my eyes.

    Incidentaly, it’s not all rosy as the two surviving women, number 1 and number 3 bloody hate me for no reason, and refuse to let me see my kids. Also, in typical woman mentality, the breakups were all my fault, even though they ran off with other men. They both used to hate eachother, as I was going out with number 3, and number 1 presumably wanted me to remain miserable and lonely forever, yet as soon as I split with number 3 the pair of them have become best of friends and gang up on me about my kids. Obviously they assume I’m miserable because I’m single again, though they couldn’t be more wrong, I’ve been there with women, had my kids, loved and lost the love of my life sadly, crammed a lifetime of relationships and all that comes with them into 7 years and now I’m happily single.

    Ready to totally emphasise with incels as I feel I have in common with you guys and fellow MGTOW’s , and I’ve seen both sides of the coin and I know what creatures the vast majority of women really are.

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