As you can see, I’m on a posting spree.  In fact, my output may increase even more.  My dad stories have always been a hit, so I’ve been considering devoting a second blog to that subject.  Then readers can follow my dating travails on this blog and learn about my larger universe on the other.  Would this interest any of you?


Things have been quiet on the dating front.  I’ve run out of things to say to Melody, and she never initiates any conversation with me.  So I think I’ve lost interest in her.  Even if I wanted to see her again, she says she doesn’t have any time.  So I guess that’s that.  Meanwhile I haven’t heard from The Babysitter since our walk in the park and she hasn’t responded to my second date proposal.  I guess that’s that too.  There were a couple of others I was trying to set dates with, but got nowhere.

The first one looked like Denise Richards and she gave me her number by the second message.  I didn’t even have to ask for it, so I considered that a good sign.  I texted her immediately and suggested going out Friday night.  I waited.  And waited.  She finally got back to me a few days later:

“Sorry for the late reply!  This weekend I have my best friends wedding, how does next week work for you?  I’m free usually after 6 on weekdays”

Okay, that sounded encouraging.  So I suggested Monday at 7.  And then I waited again. A whole week went by without hearing from her.  Ridiculous.  Finally I texted her:  “Hey!  I got back to you with a date and time and didn’t hear anything…?”

“Hey!  I’m so sorry, I’ve had 2 weddings in 2 weeks and have been struggling with my schedule.”  Right. And you couldn’t have said so?  So I told her to let me know when was good for her, and she said Friday at 6:30.  Then she didn’t respond when I contacted her Friday to confirm.  A couple of days later I texted the following:

“Well I didn’t hear anything from you again.  I take it you’re not interested then…”

“No, I am so sorry. I’ve been MIA, life has been very hectic (and then I got sick).  I have to go to my parents house tonight and help out because of illness in the family too.  I feel like such a flake and it’s not my thing I promise.  Rain check?”

Umm… nope.  I think I’m all rained out over here.

I’ll call the second girl Dog Girl.  She was very attached to her three dogs and referred to them as her kids.  That was a warning right there.  But she actually messaged me first with a “Hi handsome…” so naturally I thought she was worth a look.  I gave her my number after a few days of messages and she texted me, and I asked her out on a date.  That was where we ran into a spot of bother.  She was distressed that I wasn’t going to take her on a fancy date.  So you won’t go on a date unless I spoil you and treat you like a pampered princess?  Fuck off.

I didn’t actually say that, but that’s what went through my head.  Instead I just said that I thought that was too much for a first date.  She relented and agreed to meet for drinks, but I already knew that this wasn’t going to work if that’s her mindset.  Nonetheless I proposed the following night around 9 or 9:30, and she said she would have to check her schedule and let me know.  Yeah, okay.  Unsurprisingly I did not hear back from her.

And that was all she wrote.

With that I was left no choice but to go back on OKC and start prospecting again.  I’m meticulously combing through every single profile in my match results.  If I can’t find anything to start a conversation with, I hide the profile and move onto the next one.  It’s a real bummer, though, that the girls whose profiles really speak to me are precisely the ones that don’t respond to my messages.  Dammit.  So I don’t have anyone else in the pipeline right now. My current profile has yet to achieve the level of “success” as my last profile, but I’m still working out the kinks.

Meanwhile I’ve resumed dancing at long last.  We were left dance-less after Teacher skipped town on us back in the spring, but the other girls found a new place and I finally joined them there last week.  Saw Dancer Chick, Married Girl, and one new face.  New Face seemed rather interested in me, unless I’m imagining things again.  She asked what town I was from, how long I’d been dancing for, and was very excited when I told her about the other dance group I was with (before Director died).  All this before I’d even finished tying my shoes.  She looks super young though.  Although we’re all in the adult class, so she’s fair game.  In any case I certainly can’t wait to talk to her some more this week.  She has my attention.


12 thoughts on “Surveying

  1. Well, you’re doing this dating thing right so just hang in there. It’s too bad the girls who have been responsive have been nutty but something will work sooner or later. Hang in there!

  2. Here is the stark depressing reality. Everyone of these girls you meet on dating sites is actively avoiding dating you. Not that I have any particular insight into online dating, but I think all these women must have other guys they are seeing and you are just an option. The problem with being an option is sort of like being the silver medalist at the Olympics, but without the silver medal as there is no prize for second place in this case. Unfortunately there will always be someone funnier, smarter, better looking, richer, or whatever guy.

    Demographics suggest most of these girls you are trying to date will eventually run out of options, but it may take some time. I suggested this a long time ago, but you need to widen your net. That means women outside your age range (younger or older), different race, and with children. I’d even throw married/attached women into the pool too if you happen to come across someone who seems interested. At this stage all options should be on the table.

    • My net is already pretty wide as it is, the only way I could widen it any more would be to add married women and… lol yeah, I’m not going to do that. Honestly, though, I don’t think these girls are seeing me as an option but rather as a “meh.” At least that’s my theory. I’m touching on this subject in the post I’m writing now and will be up shortly.

  3. I wanna see what you wrote on your profiiiiile!!!!!

    And it’s crazy right how people have no respect for you just because you meet online.

      • Well, I’m guilty too, I do it too. It’s like… because it’s so easy to get dates online, people don’t treat each other like people they’d meet in real life. For example, they cancel, they stop replying without explanation, they don’t say they aren’t interested and instead they just ghost, etc. What I’m most guilty of doing is like… I add the person on Facebook before a date and if I find him very unattractive (compared to his best pictures on his dating profile) in his pictures I’ll just delete and block him to avoid saying I don’t want to meet anymore because he’s ugly. I know. Bad.

        I’ve also cancelled looooots of date from online guys compared to dates I meant in real life… it’s like they’re not as valuable. I knoooow it’s bad. I’ve tried to give explanations before and the guys just reacted like children so I just gave up. But yeah, that might explain why you don’t get many second dates! If you aren’t an extraordinary first date, you will go unnoticed among all of the other dates girls can choose from.

  4. i’ve been doing the online thing for years and have learned women want to meet in person. they don’t believe in meeting people online and i can’t say i blame them really. and someone noted the common thread of these women are treating you as an option, then why express interest in the first place. a waste of your time and efforts.

  5. An companion blog? Why, if there’s anything this world needs, it’s more Lad. “Give me excess of it!”

    Anent Ms. M.’s thoughts, in tangible life as online, dispiritingly, basic common decency is a terminally devaluing commodity.

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