Babysitting

Fresh off another first date.  We met at the local nature preserve, where we walked among the waterfowl at the water’s edge.  It was an unseasonably warm day, but unfortunately the clouds and wind moved in by the time we got together.  The conversation was awkward at first, but after a few minutes we settled into a nice flow.  I wasn’t sure about her when I first saw her, but the more we talked the more attractive I found her.

We were only there for an hour as I had to get going and she had to get back to her babysitting gig.  Her regular job is as a teacher.  Shocker – a teacher on OKC.  Seriously, that’s like the #1 profession of OkCupiders, followed by nurse, social worker, and vet.  And everybody rides horses.  What’s with all the horseback riders?

Anyway.

I really liked her and told her I wanted to get together again, and she agreed.  I’ve texted her since then with a second date idea, but as of this writing there’s been no response.  Bummer.  But we’ll see.

In the meantime I’m still making chit-chat with Melody.  I’m still not sure what to make of the whole “friends first” thing.  The way I look at it, if there’s mutual attraction/interest, then why can’t we skip the whole “friends” phase?  And friends for how long?  How long am I going to have to hover around until she can decide how she feels about me?  And then how exactly are you supposed to go from being friends to being more than friends?  I don’t know, the whole thing just sounds like a one-way ticket to being friendzoned.  Some of you have already commented about this on my last post, but I’m not sold on the idea.  Further thoughts, anyone?

First dates:  25
Second dates:  3
Third dates:  2
Cancellations:  3
Stood up:  2
First kisses: 1
Sexual experiences:  0.6

Fermenting

Best date yet.  Of course, the bar wasn’t set terribly high so that’s not saying much.  It still went really well. However, there was just one small catch: she lives three hours away.  We’d actually started talking on OKC a long time ago but I never pursued anything due to the distance.  Then she found a boyfriend and left the site, but we added each other on Facebook and kept in touch.  When I found out she was recently single, I seized the opportunity – especially now that I’m on a traveling kick.  I asked if she wanted to meet and she was all for it.

So there we were, pushing a shopping cart through a grocery store.  I was reminded irresistibly of Dating Fresh’s first date with The Marine, but we had to get cheese and snacks for our trip to the winery.  Apparently a lot of people bring food to the vineyard so they have stuff to munch on while they drink.  Good idea. But loading up on food for a date?  I love to eat and I love a girl who loves to eat.  Major win already.

She picked the winery (we were in her neck of the woods, after all) and they had a neat outdoor pavilion with heaters to keep the 45-degree chill away from us.  For the next three hours we sat at one of the little tables and swapped stories and jokes.  I was amazed at how much we had in common.  She was like the female version of myself.  We’d both spent more time on OKC than we cared to admit.  We had the same complaints and observations about others’ dating profiles.  We’d both made up fake profiles as the opposite sex in order to do research.  We’d both been on a massive spree of fruitless first dates.  We both had crazy ex stories.  We had the same foul mouth and sense of humor. We had a shared disgust over people who can’t put their phones away for five minutes.  Neither of us liked dogs or were pet people. Neither of us liked or watched sports.  We liked the same fall/outdoor activities.  We liked the same snacks.  We had the same food allergies.  We both have a borderline unhealthy obsession with a favorite animal.

Needless to say, we hit it off pretty well.  The staff chased us out at closing time, so we ended up going bowling and then getting more food.  After six or seven hours together we finally called it a night.  She had work early in the morning and I had a long drive back home.  We stood there slightly awkwardly in the parking lot.  I told her I had a lot of fun and she concurred.  Then I said she should come visit me next time.  She received my invitation with trepidation; she had enough trouble navigating her own part of the state, let alone coming all the way down to where I live.  But she said it would be nice to get together again.  Yeah.  Coming from a girl, I know what that means by now.  Means it’s unlikely to happen.  However, with her it doesn’t really matter since there’s the aforementioned distance thing.

Still… I wanted to kiss her.   I dithered about, but in the end we just hugged and went our separate ways, each telling the other to get home safe.  Going for the kiss is something I obviously need to work on.  And that was that.  We’re still going to be in touch but I don’t expect much further to happen.  But who knows.  In the meantime I have two more dates set up for this week.  I’ve also heard back from Melody.  I had asked her what she’s looking for and she told me “I am looking for something.  But I’m looking for it to grow out of a friendship.”  Yeah.  I have no idea what to do with that, apart from interpreting it as yet another “not interested.”

Looking for “something.”  That’s a little vague.

First dates:  24
Second dates:  3
Third dates:  2
Cancellations:  3
Stood up:  2
First kisses: 1
Sexual experiences:  0.6

Melody

It’s been almost an entire year but I finally went on another OkCupid date.  I really didn’t think I’d be back, but I’d been feeling especially good about myself lately so I felt like giving it another go.  It took me a few days to get the hang of messaging again.  The first batch I sent out were all duds.  Before long I cleared out the cobwebs and I started getting profile views, then responses.

There were further kinks to work out when it came to moving from messaging on OKC to going on a date.  I jumped the gun on the first few attempts, as they went nowhere.  So I relaxed a little and finally snagged one.  Her name was Melody and she was a musician like myself. Turns out we played the same instrument.  That alone gave us plenty to discuss, and she said she enjoyed talking to me and wanted to know more.  Bingo.

I asked her out for drinks the other night at a bar that happened to be just ten minutes from her house, so I couldn’t have picked a more convenient spot.  She looked better than her pictures and she was a lot more talkative than I expected.  In fact she was talkative to the point where she hardly asked me anything about myself, which bugged me.  I had to volunteer any personal information, which I took as a sign that she wasn’t that interested in me.

After an hour and a half she called it a night because she had to get up at 5:30 the next morning for work.  I walked her outside and gave her a hug.  I was just about to say good night and “it was nice meeting you” and leave it at that, but then she made noises about getting together again.  Oh.  Well, if she truly wants to see me again, maybe it’s worth exploring the possibility.  I’m just not sure about her.   We’ve been texting intermittently ever since but have been unable to agree on a day.   She’s also busy as all get out and doesn’t seem to have much time for dating and relating, which makes me wonder what she’s really looking for right now.  Perhaps we should have discussed that on our date?  I suppose I’ll bring it up on the second date.  If there’s a second date…or I could just ask her in the meantime.  In any case I’m back on OKC seeing who else I can find.  I have another first date set up for Sunday, and I have a third girl I’m hoping to get together with next week.

In other news, life is still great.  I’m busy eating, working out (gained back four pounds already!) and spending evenings by the fire with a cold beer.  In fact, on the way home from my date with Melody I came across a shitload of firewood that someone had put out to the curb.  And I don’t know if I’m getting old or what, but I was actually a little more excited about that.

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First dates:  23
Second dates:  3
Third dates:  2
Cancellations:  3
Stood up:  2
First kisses: 1
Sexual experiences:  0.6