As I hinted in my last post, I met Slutty Blonde recently. She was the latest of almost a dozen bloggers who have had the pleasure of meeting and discovering the identity of the Unfortunate Virgin Male. We’d been talking for a while, and then stars and schedules finally aligned one day.
I didn’t plan it this way, but it turned out to be one of the most hectic and exhausting days. I woke up with a massive headache, compounded by the thought of my impending afternoon dance show. Then I got a phone call with some unpleasant news: Our director had fallen ill, so I was left with the task of picking up the sound equipment, setting it up at the gig, and essentially running the entire show in addition to dancing in it. No pressure, though. However that meant I had to leave immediately in order to accomplish everything extra I had to do, and I left my half-eaten breakfast behind.
By the time I was finished with the gig I was quite hungry. And running late. When I got home I only had time to shower and change and swallow a couple of aspirins before racing out the door again. I missed my original train into the city, so I had to drive twenty minutes away to take a train on a different branch. I made it with just minutes to spare. I’d briefly considered texting Slutty Blonde to take a rain check (because what I really felt like doing was crawling into bed with a plate of sandwiches), but there was no way I was going to miss this opportunity. I was very excited to meet her, and the thought of doing so cheered me greatly as the train pulled out of the station.
Thankfully the trip to and from the city went without incident. I’d had my fill of craziness and whack-jobs during my last couple of stints in NYC, so the quiet and calm was a welcome respite. We’d decided to meet at a coffee shop in Brooklyn, and I had no trouble finding her when I got there. I didn’t even have to go inside; I spotted her from out on the sidewalk. She really was that blonde. Super blonde. A light shining in the darkness. Wow.
I was a bit nervous as I entered the shop and approached her. She sat with her back to me and debated how to introduce myself. I considered various options. I could sneak up and yell “Boo!” I could playfully cover her eyes with my hands and whisper a greeting into her ear. Instead I settled on introducing myself like a normal person would. She stood up and hugged me excitedly, and what I wanted to do was put my hands on her hips and say, “I was right… you are indeed as hot in person as I thought you’d be.” Because she was. But I chickened out. No matter.
Once I discovered that the kitchen was closed, I suggested we bounce and head over to the pizza place across the street. I was positively starving and in danger of becoming seriously hangry. After a few slices of pizza I started to feel human again, and I did my best to focus on her instead of my food. Not only was she as hot, but she was just as snarky and hilarious in person too. She cracked me up several times and I nearly choked at one point. We had a good time swapping stories and whatnot, but the entire time I just couldn’t reconcile her image with her blog stories. When I told her so she said, “No, I definitely don’t look the type.” No, she didn’t. But it wasn’t just her, either…
After an hour and a half we parted ways. I hugged her and gave her a smooch on the cheek, and she did the same. Then I grinned at her figure as she sashayed down the sidewalk. On the way home I started thinking about some of the other bloggers I’d met, and I’d had similar problems picturing them doing all the sexual things they wrote about. Then I was horror-struck when I remembered some of the girls I’d gone on dates with. My god… some of them could have been like Slutty Blonde and I didn’t even know it!
Maybe this is one of my problems – an inability to see girls as sexual beings. The thing is, my introduction to girls as a teenager found them very skittish and prudish when it came to sex. That view of them persisted through adulthood. Until a couple of years ago I didn’t even think girls gave blowjobs. By now I’ve read plenty of blogs to know that yes, Virginia, they do in fact get on their knees to please a man (and by golly some even enjoy it!). Except that’s just it – I’ve only heard and read about it. I have yet to experience first-hand proof that girls engage in all sorts of kinky sex and have appetites either equal to or even surpassing that of the male gender. It now has me questioning how I approach girls, especially after another blogger recently told me that I come off as a friend, rather than someone who’s sexually interested.
Speaking of which, coming up next is yet another story of how I met one of my fellow bloggers!