I raised the glass to my lips in quiet anticipation.  And as soon as the hour struck, I took a tentative sip.  Two things changed at that moment:  I became a 30-year-old virgin, and I had my first beer.

Yes, my first beer ever.  I’ve had wine, I’ve had champagne, I’ve had vodka, I’ve had a tequila shot once… all very sparingly, but never an actual beer.  It just never appealed to me.  Of course, when I was at the age when I could have started drinking, there weren’t options like there are today.  You know – all this craft beer and other bullshit.  There was just Budweiser.  I always figured that if beer tasted like it smelled, then I wasn’t interested.

But this beer I was having was quite scrumptious.  It went down very easily.  And fifteen minutes later, I finally understood why people drank.  Alcohol really does work wonders as a social lubricant.  Not that I needed it on this occasion, but nonetheless I was more relaxed than ever.  And giggly.  Holy Jesus.  I was laughing up a storm, and nothing hilarious was happening.

The girls were quite amused by my antics, though.

Ahh, yes… the girls.

A couple of weeks ago I came up with a brilliant idea.  I suggested that we should all go out for drinks after this week’s dance class, especially since this is the last time we’re meeting before the holidays.  Everybody was all for it, and Dancer Chick seemed super-stoked.  Dancer Chick, the cute girl in my class in whom I was interested, but didn’t appear interested in return.  That didn’t mean that I didn’t still have my eye on her, because I did.

I thought this would be a great opportunity for her to get to know me a little better and to talk outside of class for a change. That part went as well I could have hoped.  And I took her enthusiasm for my proposed outing as a good sign, especially since there were only four of us going:  her, myself, our dance teacher, and the other girl in the class (whom I’ve dubbed Teacher and Married Girl respectively).

Then something interesting happened.  I’m probably reading too much into things as usual, and it’s probably nothing, but I feel like it’s worth mentioning.

As I was getting ready to take my first sip, Dancer Chick pulled out her phone to take a picture.  Just before she could take the snap, Teacher ran over and put her arms around me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.

Whoa.  I turned quite red, but thankfully we were in a bar so it was dark and nobody noticed.  And that wasn’t the only time she did that, either.  She hugged and kissed me at least two more times throughout the night, and my memory is a little hazy (yes, even after one beer) but I’m pretty sure she even ruffled my hair once as she walked past.

She’s the same age as me.  She informed us that night that she broke up with her boyfriend a few months ago.  I always thought she was hot, but I never paid her that much attention because she had been unavailable.  Now that I know she’s single, she’s become even more attractive to me.  And now – due to her actions – I can’t help but wonder…

After we all parted ways and wished each other a Merry Christmas, I went home to bed.  I was so delirious with lust I could barely sleep, and when I did sleep I had all kinds of sex dreams about her.  I’m even willing to overlook her Italian Syndrome.  She’s only part Italian, but that’s the part that wins out.  She’s talks very loud and very fast. Yappity yappity yappity boppity-bada-bing-bada-bop.  But she’s a lot livelier than Dancer Chick, which is a plus.

I’ve met girls like her before, and after a while I learned not to read too much into anything because some girls are just touchy-feely like that and that’s the way they are with everyone and it doesn’t mean a thing.  But in any case, she has me all hot and bothered and curious.  Next class is not until the first week of January, and the wait is going to kill me.  I’m very much interested in her.  And I’m still a little interested in Dancer Chick… but I feel like I should just forget about her – I can do better than someone who doesn’t exhibit any real outward signs of interest.  Teacher is more my speed.  Energetic, outgoing, vocal, no filter, and she owns her own dance school so she’s an entrepreneur like myself.  Good deal.


In the meantime, I’ve been reflecting on how far I’ve come in just a short year.  At 29 I was virtually dateless.  Now I’m 30 with 30 dates under my belt, along with some making out and some titty action.  That’s the most action I’ve seen since high school, which really isn’t saying much.  So I’ve come a long way since then, and a long way since I’ve started this blog.

I don’t really have any plans for this point forward.  I’ve taken down my online dating profiles, with no real desire to go back there anytime soon.  I’ve had my fill for now so I’m just going to take a break.  Time for something different.

63 thoughts on “30

  1. Hmmmm. Ok. Jblondie’s thoughts on Teacher Girl: She sounds fun…and hot. The touchy thing is usually indicative of liking attention…and it also usually means we would probably sleep with you. We may not want you as a boyfriend…but more than one hug? A kiss on the cheek? ..a cute hair ruffle? If she’s touching you multiple times…that’s a VERY good sign. 🙂

    Cannot wait for a follow-up to this post!

  2. Ok, my first impression is that she is interested.

    Being cautious, it could be she’s asserting a “claim” on you because she sees other women around you as a threat – not necessarily interested in you, she’s asserting her right to first refusal. Some women flirt for power and ego; women deny they ever do this, but they do it – trust me as I’ve been there, done that.

    Either way, it seems to be a good sign so take it easy in your approach with her.

    • JBlondie suggests that I should wait and see if she gets all touchy with me again the next time we’re together – then that’s a sure sign. I still feel like maybe that’s just the way she is. Then again, I’ve been going to her studio for over a year now and she’s never acted this way before, although she had a boyfriend and it’s also our first time together outside of class. But if she truly is dropping hints that’s she interested, I’d be really surprised. After all, I’m one of her students. Almost a little inappropriate. Although if it’s inappropriate, that only makes it hotter. 😀

      • I agree with JBlondie. Your comment here reinforces my urge for caution – she could be “peacocking” here. If it happens again then by all means try to take it to the next level – but slowly. Flirt back.

  3. Get your Astrological chart done. Pay particular attention to
    what planets are in the 5th and 8th houses.
    Look at the Moon and Venus. Look and see if the angles between
    these planets are “good” or “bad.” Not that it will help you all that
    much, but at least you can make an informed appraisal if you want
    to kill yourself now or later.

  4. Be open to experiences, but make no commitments. There is plenty of time for that if all goes well under less formal events, such as hanging out after dance class. If any of these women want more from you, they will let you know.

  5. I definitely think she’s interested. Some people (MOST people… ALL people) are just more open about that kind of thing when they’ve got a bit of alcohol in them 😉 I’m the same way. Hella awkward when I’m sober, uber flirt when I’m drunk. Wait it out, see if she keeps sending you signals, and if she does, ask her to go out for another beer, just the two of you?

  6. Happy birthday to you, UVM. I’ve only recently started reading your blog. I can tell you’re a smart decent guy, and I applaud you for searching for a lasting relationship with the opposite sex that is deeper and meaningful… and not just looking for a quick hook-up to simply “get it over with” to lose the V-card. I’m sure you’ve heard this before, and are probably sick of hearing it already… but I think in this day and age, people like you are a rarity, and it’s quite refreshing really. It’s just too bad modern society has such a skewed and twisted view on male virginity.
    Glad you’re taking a break from it all. Let’s just say I completely understand your situation. Getting girls to like me for who I am (and unsuccessfully at that) has been such a stressful experience for me, that I finally decided I’m just not going to take part in this rigged game anymore. For quite a while now, I stopped attuning to the dating culture we have, mostly because of the superficiality of it all. And hitting 30 is not at all a bad thing. I think that around that age, the bigger head starts to predominate the smaller head. You don’t have to take my advice, but why not start working on things that interest you, on things that stimulate your mind, and concentrate on stuff you can do to better yourself — not for other people, but for you. As a fringe benefit, you may actually begin attracting women of the same wavelength as you who are also genuinely interested in things you’re interested in. Perhaps the kind of romantic relationship you’re looking for would come when you least expect it.
    Stay healthy, buddy. And best of luck with everything!

    • Thanks for the birthday wishes! Well… I don’t know if I would say that I’m looking for something all that deep and meaningful, actually. Lately I’ve been questioning whether a serious relationship is right for me. While I’m definitely open to one, I’m beginning to feel like something casual is more my speed. Who knows.

      As far as doing things to better myself and things that interest me… that’s pretty much what I’ve been doing for the better part of 30 years. I’ve had all the time in the world, since I’m perpetually single. Although, one of those things was a new dance class, which led to the events described in this post, so what I’m looking for may well have come when I least expected it indeed! We shall soon find out…

  7. Once a person comes to the Lord, it’s an open question whether
    or not he/she is ever going it have sex again! The Bible makes it
    implicidity clear that unmarried sex is sinful: “When a man shall leave
    his mother and father and clive unto his WIFE, they shall be ONE
    Did you ever build a model when you were a boy? You know those
    little plastic tabs that you twist off to seperate the pieces? A family is
    like that. When you break off the piece, and unite (in sex) with your
    wife, you create the new “tab” of a family, then they break off and so
    You should NOT be troubled by sexual urges after coming to the Lord.
    He will squlech them. But if He doesn’t, you ARE allowed to marry:
    “It is better to MARRY then to burn with passion” (LUST)

  8. I moved off your last post to continue here. I just re-read that brush off from Dancer Girl. Ugh. Your lack of success is depressing. It can’t be that hard can it? Teacher probably isn’t interested, but there’s no way to know for sure unless you ask. I really hope you’re not a 31 year old virgin. This is the year.

    • If he isn’t very selective, IRSTU, he’ll marry one of these women and discover that he got more sex when he was single.

          • I think lowering your standards really just depends on what you want and what you value. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with people who just want to get it over with as there is nothing wrong with those that want to wait for something meaningful. Even if you originally wanted to wait, your values can change through experiences. If you no longer identify with what you once believed, then don’t hold onto it. I think what you should do is decide how much you care about how special your first time is and with who it is. If you really care about something meaningful and you think you’d regret just getting it over with with just anyone (and you are hesitant or still questioning), then don’t. If not, then vise versa.

            I feel like the moment will come soon enough where it’ll work out for you and you won’t be questioning whether or not you should go for it. Just don’t overthink it. Things literally happen when you least expect.

          • Also I think that, in connection to the comment you replied to, you gotta be honest with yourself and evaluate what kind of women you can really attract. Some people have over inflated standards/perceptions of themselves, which blinds them to their weaknesses and makes them unsuccessful with the opposite sex. If your standards are too high, lower them a tad. Continue working on any areas that can be improved.

            There’s been valid studies that suggest that people will generally end up with a partner with similar attractiveness to them on a ratings scale.

  9. Happy belated birthday ! I dont know about Teacher, she could be interested or just have a flirty personality. Just wait and see 🙂

  10. When I was UFV’s age, I also had fantasies that “it” would happen
    one day. Every female that tickled my fancy was a was a prospective
    prospect. The mind races ahead of reality. You DREAM what is
    impossible to obtain.
    I am 56 now and accept that I will die in this way. It needn’t happen
    to UMV, but he must accept the fact that he has to “descend” to levels
    he might wish to avoid. It all comes down to the question: “Is dying a
    virgin a tragedy? Is it the worse fate you can undergo?
    Young children, social outcasts, and THE LORD have died virgins.
    When you actually die, it won’t make any difference how many times
    you’ve had sex. One time, or a thousand times won’t matter.

  11. I think you should find a way to see the teacher before the next dance class. Just the two of you. Alone. Dancers are probably amazing in bed. Do it.

  12. […] Sigh.  Well… I can’t say I wasn’t expecting that things might unfold this way.  But even though this looks like another dead end, I feel like I gotta at least try before I give up entirely.  I have yet to turn the charm or flirtatiousness on full blast – both of which can be quite deadly if the right girl crosses my path.  And we’re still hanging out next week.  She’ll get to know me a little better outside of class (which, ironically, was my original strategy for Dancer Chick). […]

  13. I haven’t read your blog in a while. I missed out on the titty action. Good job man! Can you link me to it? I would like to read about it.

    Oh and Teacher wanted you to make a move.

      • Yes, but you messed up because you didn’t strike when the iron is hot.

        Girls usually are not going to tell you straight up that they’re into you sexually. They don’t want to feel easy and they don’t wan to risk being rejected.

        They will give you subtle signs, but as the man, you have to pick up on them and be the aggressor.

        Here’s a trick to know if a girl is into you or not. When you sit next to her let your legs touch or nonchalantly touch her arm or leg for a couple seconds while you’re talking to her. Pay attention to her body language.

        If she doesn’t react and doesn’t move back that means she’s comfortable with your touch. Assume she’s attracted to you.

        And read this post:

          • I would’ve escalated the sexual vibe.

            When she was kissing you on the cheek, you could’ve point at your other cheek and say “Now kiss this side so it doesn’t feel left out” while giving her a devilish smirk.

            Notice how it was a demand and not a request. You want to come off as a confident Casanova and not a safe little boy.

            Flirt with her. Tease her. Embrace your sexuality.

            And I wouldn’t have waited 11 days.

            You possibly could’ve gotten her to come back to your place and hang out that night. Or text her the next day while having a good time with you was still fresh in her mind.

            Here’s a line you can you next time: “You should come over for drinks tonight. I learned a new recipe that I want to try out.”

            Notice how it was a suggestion and not a question. Subtle but important different. You’re a sexy, confident man and not some sweet, safe boy.

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