This past weekend was a tumultuous one.  I had to cancel my date with the 19yo I was going to meet because one of my brothers decided to up and move to North Carolina, giving us all less than 24 hours notice.  I went to help him pack and see him off.  Fortunately Nineteen was understanding when I told her the story.  She offered to reschedule for next weekend, accepted my regret with a maturity that stood in stark contrast to Shorty’s current behavior – a girl who is ten years her senior.

And I’ve broken things off with Shorty.  This girl was way too needy and insecure for me.  She would bombard me with texts and calls and would get upset when I didn’t respond immediately.  She would second-guess every date idea I had, and whenever we managed to finalize plans she would change her mind two hours later and come back to me with a different suggestion.  It took us nearly an entire day of going back and forth to settle on “diner and bowling.”

First she agreed that I could pick her up.  Then she wanted to meet me somewhere.  Then she went back to saying I could pick her up.  Then she didn’t want me to drive all the way out to meet her.  (Never mind that I was insisting on coming out to meet her because she drove all the way out to meet me for our second date, so it was only fair that I did the same in return.)  Then she said I could pick her up.  Then she said she wanted to meet me somewhere because she claimed there were no diners near her house.

Sigh.  Yes there are, I said.  This is New York, there are goddamn diners everywhere (case in point, I passed one just ten minutes down the road from her when we were driving).  Then she was on Google Maps looking for bowling alleys, saying that there nearest bowling alley was fifteen minutes from the nearest diner (I thought she said there weren’t any diners near her?).  But oh my God, so what??  So we drive for fifteen minutes.  Then she didn’t want to go bowling because she’s a terrible bowler (never mind the fact that she was the one who proposed it in the first place).

So what?  I’m terrible too.  It’s just for fun.  She acquiesced.  Okay, we could go bowling if we couldn’t come up with anything else, she said.  Then she wanted to take it off the table again.  Then she was okay with it, she said.

This went on and on.  Sheesh

And on our second date… before we came back to my place to watch a movie and fool around, I took her to the local nature preserve to walk the trails and feed the birds.  She knew beforehand that we were going there, but no sooner did we arrive did she start whining about how she didn’t want to walk, she couldn’t walk because she had sandals on, how it was too hot to walk (it was 70 degrees), and how she didn’t want to go near the ducks because she’s afraid of anything that might bite her.  She literally stood in the middle of the street rather than come over to the pond where I was.  I had to go and grab her before she got hit by a car.  Good grief.

Not to mention that anytime we had a conversation she would get this weird hesitation in her voice like she wanted to say something, or she wanted me to say something.  Then she would go completely silent for an entire minute before she would talk again.  So I got on the phone with her the other night and asked her what was up.  She said she really wanted things to go well, but that she was still incredibly nervous around me.  I made the point that we just did not seem to be meshing.  She insisted that we were, so I stupidly decided to give her one more chance.  I chalked up her behavior to her professed nervousness. Maybe she’d finally loosen up and act less weird and awkward and more normal.

We did one more date (the aforementioned dinner and bowling) but it fell apart halfway through.  So we did it. We broke up.  Now that’s over with. I certainly could have slogged through and gotten laid.  But I don’t want to do it just to “get it over with.”  it has to be with the right person.  Once I got going on the dating scene, it only took me a few months and 20-odd dates to get to this point.  I can get here again, and probably faster now that I’m getting a feel for things.

However, Shorty has not stopped texting and calling and leaving sobbing voicemails.  She’s worried that we were too hasty and that we rushed out of something too quickly.  Sigh.  This is precisely what I was trying to avoid.

All I know is, thank God I didn’t have sex with her.


In other news, my blog continues to increase in popularity.  I’m currently at 223 blog followers and have received over 30,000 total views since I’ve started this blog in January of 2013.  I broke 3,000 monthly views in September, after coming really close in August.   In fact, check out for yourself how my view and visitor counts have increased from month to month:


Thank you all who read and follow and comment!  I never thought anybody would take any interest in this little blog of mine, so to have received this much attention is flattering.  And the best is yet to come.

Coming up next: The Story of How I Met One Of My Fellow Bloggers.

Stay tuned…

24 thoughts on “Nuts

  1. This is so fabulous! Great little update here 🙂 Can’t wait to read about the fellow blogger meet up 😀 And I’m so fucking glad you decided not to settle. 😉

  2. Good for you. The grief would not have been worth it in the long run.

    That’s fantastic you have so many views! I’m hoping mine will reach the same dizzying heights some day. At the moment, I am averaging 1000 per month. I expect to get more in future as I talk more and more about male mental health.

  3. Going out with a 19 year old sounds exhausting. Being 6 months from 30, I don’t think I could go out with someone younger than 26.

    I just had a conversation last night with The Backscratcher about how all my previous guys reach out to me because they are completely unhappy. Thanks for the next blog inspiration!

  4. Totally bewildering. That’s what you are to me.
    You claim that you can’t “get” girls, yet you have gotten plenty.
    You’ve gotten the greatest gift that anyone could ask from a
    woman: The time of the day. Can you possible imagine how
    that makes us above 50 virgins feel?
    “Beggers can’t be choosers. But you are not a begger at all.

  5. 1- Congrats on the stats!!! 2- I know what you mean… I’m reflected almost habitually, and handle it with some grace- but the odd time when I personally decide to break it off with someone, they lose it! *sigh*

  6. Congrats on the stats!!
    It’s flattering, I know- I get so stoked sometimes- I mean I do have the best readers after all… 😉

  7. I think you might be me. I turned 30 4 days ago, my first girlfriend who I broke up with many years ago is now apparently a lesbian in a civil partnership, and I seem to attract the types you mention…

  8. did you have a plan when you started this blog for making the marks you noted here?

    i know this was an old post, however, i was looking at the top posts that you have in your sidebar.

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