I’m really slacking here. I’ve gone on four dates since my last update and I still haven’t written about them yet. So I’m pushing this post out because I have at least three more dates set up for this week.
Date #15 – The Jokester
She was a cute 20yo blondie. Yes, 20 years old. The youngest girl to date I’ve gone out with. I’m not neglecting women my own age, but I’ve been unashamedly pursuing younger ones as well. Because let’s face it – what guy wouldn’t want to get with a 20yo? Not to mention that I’m turning 30 in three months and this is my last chance. It’s going to be infinitely harder to reel one in; 29 is more palatable than 30.
Anyway. She mentioned on her profile that she liked corny jokes and pizza, so after a few messages I proposed an outing where we could indulge in both. Game on. I met her at the pizza place and she was even better-looking in person. Wow. And she greeted me with a handshake, and gave me the same when we parted ways. Interesting. Hugging had been the standard greeting on all prior dates up until then, so I wasn’t sure what to make of that. Then she threw me another curve ball when we went inside. We ordered our food and I took out my wallet to pay, but she waved me off.
“Don’t worry, I got it,” she said. I assumed she meant she was paying for herself, but she repeated herself when she saw I was still taking bills out. I looked up at her.
“Oh! Are you sure…?”
“Yeah, it’s fine.”
Well, if she insisted. It was only pizza and drinks and I wasn’t going to stand there and argue with her. There are some girls who like to pay for themselves. I even have a couple of female friends who refuse to ever let a guy pay for them. Besides, at the time I was fresh from reading this post by Dating Fresh and this post by Tarnished, so I didn’t think much of it, even if she did take it a bit further by paying for the whole date. Perhaps that was just the sort of girl she was.
However, JBlondie was horrified when I told her about this: “Don’t ever let the girl pay on the first date!” she admonished. Now I’m not sure what to think. Out of everything in this post, this is the subject I’m most curious to hear your comments on, so have at it.
Anyway, we got our food and sat down and started our joke exchange. Eventually the conversation turned towards more serious matters like work/family/etc. After about an hour she called it a night. As I’ve said before, it’s never a good sign when the girl calls an end to the date. Especially when it’s only 9 o’clock. I walked her outside, and then I asked her straight-up how she thought the date went.
“It was very nice meeting you and I had a good time,” she said. A very diplomatic answer. Stupidly I’d forgotten to come prepared with a second date idea. Dammit. But I told her I liked her and asked whether she’d like to see me again.
“Potentially,” was her response.
I’ve been on enough dates by now to know what that means. Anytime a girl says, “maybe” or “that sounds nice” or “we’ll see” or anything of the sort, it actually mean “no.” Then she told me that she was probably going to stop talking to people on OKC because she was going back to grad school the next week, and between that and work and driving 50 miles each way every day, she just wasn’t going to have the time. Sure enough, a week later she took her profile down, but not before viewing my profile several more times in the interim.
And that was all she wrote.
Date #16 – The Puerto Rican
My first Puerto Rican girl. She made me blush when she kissed me on the cheek. Very affectionate. However, I wasn’t attracted to her and she was a lot heavier than her pictures indicated. Sorry, not my thing at all. We still had a fun time nonetheless. We met at Starbucks and sat and talked for two hours. Two hours! I didn’t think we were that long, so obviously we had an even better time than I realized. She thought I was very funny and I made her laugh a lot. But sadly I wasn’t interested. So I finally called it a night. I’ve decided that from now on I’m going to take control of the date and be the one to end it. I walked her to her car, gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek, told her it was very nice to meet her and wished her a safe trip home. And that was that. No talk of a second date. No problem.
Date #17 – Bella Dancer
Another goddamn coffee date. I know I’ve said this before, but I’m definitely done with coffee dates now. Food or activities from now on. But we met at another Starbucks. It was close to where she lived and easy to get to, and it was also in the mall, so after we got our beverages we walked around and checked out some of those gadget-and-gizmo stores and whatnot.
After an hour we ended up back at the Starbucks where we had started from. I was about to wrap things up, but dammit would you believe she beat me to it? However, she said she wanted to see me again and said we should definitely go on a second date! Forward… I like it! How about dinner on Friday, I asked? Game on. I promised to get back to her the next day with the details. Then I was out – but not before hugging her and planting a big fat kiss on her cheek. Wow. Real daring.
After I got home I sent her the cursory I-got-home-safe-and-hope-you-did-too text. At least that seems to be what people do these days. I also reiterated what I good time I had with her.
Whatever. I shrugged it off and went to bed, and when I awoke Tuesday morning I sent her a “good morning” text.
Now this was getting really odd. In the days leading up to our first date, we were texting constantly. And she would respond to my texts almost instantly, no matter what time of day it was. Now she went from instant response to no response. What was going on? Finally I picked up the phone and called her later that evening. Two and a half rings, then straight to voicemail as if she had hit the “ignore” button on her phone. I left her a pleasant message, telling her I’d had a nice time the previous night, and asked her to call me back so we could work out the details for Friday.
Friday came and went and still no word from her, and I took to OKC and saw that she actually updated her profile to complain about what a waste of time the site is and how hard it is to find a gentleman. You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. This is how you treat people, and then you want to complain about what a rough time you’re having on the dating scene?
Needless to say, I was kinda pissed.
Date #18 – Honest Girl
True to my word of “no more coffee dates,” we met at Panera Bread. Before now I’d always assumed it was just a bakery and all they had were bread and rolls. I didn’t know that they served, you know, like real food there. Sandwiches and whatnot. So I pleasantly surprised, and even more so when I met her outside. She was very cute. And another one that greeted me with a handshake. Uh oh. This again? I let it pass without comment. When she later told me that she’s fresh from a 10-year relationship and has only been single for two months and I was only the third guy she’s been on a date with, I simply chalked it up to that.
We had a good time, and the conversation really hit its stride once we discovered our mutual love of reading and writing. My phone vibrated in my pocket at the hour mark, and a couple of minutes after that alarm I called it a night. I explained that I had an early morning and I had to drive back home yet. And this time I came prepared with a second date idea. That coming weekend I was performing with my dance group at a festival that was right in her town. I invited her to come out and watch, and afterwards we could enjoy the rest of the festival. It was perfect.
However, she said she’s had to check her schedule because she worked two jobs and didn’t know yet whether she’d be free. Right. I could see where this was going, especially when I didn’t even get a handshake when we parted ways. She just waved goodbye and walked to her car. Uh… okay then. Sure enough, after I sent my hope-you-got-home-safe-blah-blah-blah text, I received the following response:
“I did, thanks, you’re an interesting guy but I think I’m looking for someone a little more rough around the edges. Believe it or not I’m a pretty intense character.”
I knew I wasn’t imagining her apparent lack of enthusiasm. But I wasn’t going to let this go without comment. I wrote back that I thought it was a little premature to say that, especially when we’d barely gotten to know each other. Case in point, she told me was a pretty intense character but I didn’t see any of that in her at all. Hell, I didn’t even like my ex when I first met her, but six months later we were boyfriend and girlfriend.
Long story short, we discussed it for over an hour. Fast forward a week and a half and we’re still talking. If nothing else, perhaps I’ve simply made a new friend. I’m cool with that. But she was the first girl I’ve met that finally gave it to me straight. Quite refreshing for a change. The only thing that would have impressed me more would have been if she’d told me all this in person rather than after the fact. But no matter.
I’ll come back later to fix grammar and make other revisions, but I’ve dawdled on this post long enough and I really wanted to bring everyone up to date. And like I said, I’ve got three more dates lined up. Wish me luck!
First dates: 18
Second dates: 1
Third dates: 1
Stood up: 2
Sexual experiences: 0.5