G-string

Earlier tonight I met a girl and we fiddled with each other in the park. No, that is not sexual innuendo of any kind, but it does remind me of an old Chinese proverb:

Good to meet girl in park.
Better to park meat in girl.

But she was indeed a fellow fiddler, so I suggested bringing our instruments and having a jam session.  (How’s that for a unique first date idea?)  We set up shop on the bleachers near the baseball diamond, but we still managed to attract some listeners despite the fact that we purposely chose a spot away from everyone else.  The black guys from the basketball court came by after they heard the sounds of jigs and reels drifting over.  They took seats around us and one of them even closed his eyes and bobbed his head along to the music.  After ten or fifteen minutes, one of them requested that we bust a move.

“Hey, can either one of you do that Riverdance shit?”

That was my cue.  I signaled to Fiddle Girl to start a new tune, and I displayed my new hornpipe step for the crowd.  They went wild.  “Look at this nigga dance, yo!”  Dollar bills rained down into my violin case.  Wow.  This is the first date I’ve been on where I actually made money as opposed to spending it.  Works for me!

Eventually they went back to their game and we continued our session, interspersed with bits of conversation.  Among the more interesting tidbits of information I learned was that she belongs to a local traditional music organization, so I’m definitely going to check that out.  That’s right up my alley.  But as far as Fiddle Girl is concerned… sorry, I just didn’t find her attractive.  Was not like her pictures at all.

JBlondie, one of my blog followers, suggested placing bets on how high the date counter will climb before I finally swipe my V-card.  So leave your best guesses in the comments below!  Whoever is the closest will win a special prize when the time comes.  Aaaand…. go!

First dates:  14
Second dates:  1
Third dates:  1
Cancellations:  3
Stood up:  2
Sexual experiences:  0.5

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38 Comments

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38 responses to “G-string

  1. Chin Up, Chest High!

    What a great idea for a first date!

    My bet: 50.

  2. It’s not every day you get to fiddle with a girl on the first date 😉

    My Bet (s): …I’m going balls to the walls here and laying guesses down for each.

    First Dates: 34
    Second Dates: 4
    Times Stood Up: 7
    Cancellations: 9
    Dates ending with a first kiss: 3
    Sexual Experience: Ok…I know you’re frustrated in several areas but here’s my thought process. You are BOUND to meet a slutty girl soon. And when you meet her you need to tell her right away that you’re a virgin. She’ll consider you her pet project and freak you up in a million ways-hahahaha 😀
    P.S. Thanks for the Shout-Out!!

  3. I’m going with 89.

    Also Jblondie couldn’t be more wrong. As someone who slept with everyone I wanted, I ran from virgins because your first time is awful. I don’t wanna fuck someone for three seconds or teach them how to do it. “Slutty” girls will not be all over you.

    • I agree with you on the slutty part. I HATE virgins. I tell them, oh hells no, and run for the hills.

    • Hey hey…I don’t mean ALL sluts will fuck him…LOL. I have a certain type of slut in mind. I’m picturing an alternative girl who is still in denial that she’s a slut but has mixed emotions for UVM …pity mixed with liking him and a shot of “what the hell-why not?” thrown in. 😀

    • Sluts are actually more discerning that women with a much lower dick count. Plus sluts are no longer impressed with any one cock any more. If I was you I would go to a reputable escort service and have a pro gets you schooled up as to how to be a lover. Its a learning process fro sure. If that scares you you need to get rid of all the shit like that in your head.

      And ShitShow is right ANY girl can fuck as many men as she wants with zero effort. Thats why no one is impressed with sluts and most men feel a fair amount of revulsion about the whole “I wonder how many cocks have graced this and this hole” observation. Chicks like ShitShow are crazy and you dont want that kind of crazy. However, she actually validates a point I made in my other comment.

      Follow my instructions young padewan and soon you 2 will be banging out sexy sluts.

  4. This title is misleading

  5. Sounds like a fun date.. and you both play the fiddle? What a cool thing to share in common! Just being friends is totally okay – although do you think it could evolve into something more? Advertising Boy and I started off as friends and it’s slowly evolving into something more… so you never know! 😉

    My bet? Well let’s go with..

    First dates: 27
    Second dates: 4
    Times stood up: 4 – hoping that doesn’t go any higher! What is with these girls..
    Cancellations: 6
    Dates ending with a kiss: 3

  6. I think 69 because, you know…all the sex puns. 😉

  7. Lon Spector

    I agree. The name of this blog site should be changed.
    The title should be: “Better Living Through Torture.”
    Listen to the song “Sun Raise, Sun Set, from Fiddler On The
    Roof.”
    Are you going to live before the sun sets on YOU for the
    FINAL time?

  8. Okay you’re at 12 first dates at the current point in time. I place my wager between 30-40. I’m forever rooting for you!! These dates are creative and it’s the girls’ shame that they’re not interested. As for the ones who have zero social skills or respect for others in general to stand you up without any excuse at all: fuck them (the worse kind possible, definitely not the end goal kind).

  9. So far it’s been 12 first dates to 0.5 sexual experiences. Basic maths tells me it’ll be 24 first dates to 1.0 sexual experiences. So let’s go with 24. You must be lauded for your tenacity. After about 7 dates that didn’t lead anywhere, I just resigned myself to eternal singledom.

  10. wallflowerlove

    I’ve always had a soft spot for musicians, good on you for this date idea 🙂 A special prize? It best be cake.

  11. xanaxic

    I hate guessing this, but I am going to guess 47. The reason being… I think you have a lot more dating to do. I had a huge crush on a virgin and tried to get him to come over to my side for years. It didn’t work. He waited until marriage. Go him! I never even got a kiss, despite snuggling in his bed and him having a raging hard on.

  12. Dude, your blog is painful to read because I see where you are making all sorts of mistakes. Why would you hang out with a woman as a friend? You should have men for that.

    You 2 made music together. If anything you should have went for the long, slow deep kiss. Her reaction is either positive or negative, and it does not matter because you acted and did something. That’s all that matters.

    You have conditioned your mind and responses to women as a coping mechanism. Is she fat, ugly, have a weird skin disease? If she is attractive and not fat, although maybe you should not be too picky right now, then she should be a candidate and therefore an opportunity. If I had to guess you have gotten quite a few let’s just be friend (LJBF) rejections. Women can smell a man in a pheromonal way that he is undesirable to other women which in turn makes her not have attraction to you. This is described by the term called preselection. Look it up. Also stop jerking off if you do. That will help tremendously in making you “smell” better to her.

    Fuck this kissing shit. You can be a little more aggressive without being a creep and go for at least 3rd base. I’m talking making out and finger banging on the first and/or second date and getting the lay on the third. That needs to be your focus.

    Fortune favors the bold.

  13. You have all these women following your tortuous journey and all it is for them is some morbid fascination. Women are unable to empathize with men. You see all a woman has to do is spread her legs and labia and there will be some dick hard ready to fuck her. It takes no effort for them whatsoever for a woman to be a slut. Even fat ugly women get laid. It’s actually harder for women to not be a slut and keep their legs closed that it is for them to take 500 miles of cock 6-8 inches at a time.
    So if these women had any care for you one of them would be training your ass up by coming over to your house (or you to hers) and teaching you. She would gladly endure the 3 seconds and a grunt and her perfectly mastered by years of practice blowjob skills will get you hard again in a flash. If they really cared for you or your predicament one or more of these chicks would be teaching you how to be the perfect lover, because they would have a blank canvas to work from. Instead, at least 2 of your readers actually expresses revulsion with the very thought of fucking a virgin (you). They also admitted to being sluts. That’s ok I still love you girls. I love sluts myself. I don’t have to teach them..as much.
    This one woman, no kids, never married, rode horses and had a perfect tight body, size 6, 36dd tits, and one of the most wonderful pussies on the planet that did this rippling thing as she milked me when we would always orgasm together because of her overly developed PC muscles. Our sexual chemistry was friggin awesome and I was starting to fall in love with her.
    Hold on….

    I had to step away for a few minutes, now I’m back. Wonderful memories I made with that one.

    That woman picked me up after I gave a speech. I fucked her on the 3rd date after less than 6 hours of actual face time. That’s about average for most men who are getting laid regularly. She wanted marriage; I told her she was too old because she could not give me babies. I then traded her in for a 22 year old red head squirter. She was a huge slut so I stopped dealing with her and I now stick to a few other FB’s I have. Personally I am rather tired of all of them and would prefer to write and build fast cars.

    Your female readers are fun to have around because you think they are laughing with you (not), they do fuck up and drop kernels of truth here and there. They have no desire nor do they expect to ever see you get laid. There are reasons for all of this, and we can get into them later. If they won’t cum and fuck you no other chick is until you mod your ass into the man who gets pussies tingling and panties wet. They are all out fucking the alpha bad boys who pull their har and spank their ass’s red, and rubbing it in your face according to the comment, while you jerk off to porn and have yet to even taste the sweet nectar of a young woman’s special honey pot.

    I spent like 2 hours thinking about and writing these comments. It fucks with a man’s head to be your age and an incel and I truly want to help you but you need to be willing to learn. I have been trough dry spells a couple of times myself so I know. Marriage was kind of a long one for me, ha ha. There is just so much pussy to be had and if you learn you can get some of it for you.

    Oh yea, and dont date horse chicks. The pussy is awesome but they are really fucking crazy, Lollllozozzz

    http://thereinventionofman.wordpress.com/2014/08/19/forced-celibacy/

    • You’re a disgusting human being. While you have the right to express whatever you want because this is ‘Merica after all…it’s a shame men like you exist. I feel bad for EVERY woman you have ever touched (and not just sexually…like even shook hands with). We’re all here because we’re all Voyeur’s in some way or another and we all want to read about UVM’s first time (because yes it will be short and sweet). But your troll ass needs to go back under your bridge…because the advice above is nothing but what is no doubt drunken raves of a man who most definitely has some type of venereal disease 🙂
      P.S. ….Sorry this guy’s assaulting your posts with nothing but useless garbage UVM…
      P.P.S. Why would we “teach” him when he’s providing us with free entertainment dumbass?!?

    • lolz indeed. You have quite the stories. I’ll bet you have a 9-inch penis as well.

      Welcome to the Internet.

  14. Wow! Not a bit of refutation of any of my advice to UVM but the classic shaming language. I assume you think I have a small penis as well. Hit a nerve with you did I, lolzzlzll

    Yes, I am actually surprised you took so long to respond, no you but someone like you of course. It sucks when men know whats up, ain’t it sweet pants.

    UVM, note the PPS. They dont care. Your lust giving them loollzzz.

    “”P.P.S. Why would we “teach” him when he’s providing us with free entertainment dumbass?!?””

    Sorry babe bro before hoes.

    Note stay away from these pump and dump chicks. Its cool to throw a fuck into them every once in awhile, but i wouldn’t let them know your address or last name. Just saying.

    I have been moved by you and other men in your situation. I have a friend thats having the same problem, so I am working on a post to get everyone comfortably started. I hope you will find some helpful advice. Take what works for you and lets see if we can change your score card a bit.

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