Yakking

I saw Horse Girl for a third time.  She proposed going kayaking in one of her first messages, so I finally took her up on the idea.  We set a date for Monday, and she invited me over to her place.  She lives by herself in a cottage on a large private estate, with access to a private beach and cove.  Now, the fact that she lived by herself and she gave me her address caused my brain to go into overdrive and I knew I was over-thinking this.  Last time she’d said she wanted to develop a friendship first.  No rushing into things.  So she said.

Nonetheless I came prepared for the possibilities.  And I came with my newly-acquired kayak.  Actually, I was more excited about going kayaking than anything else.  While I’ve always been in the water, I’ve never been ON the water.   Never set foot in a boat of any kind – unless you count a ferry here and there.  Whoopty-do.  So I was completely stoked, and she seemed amused by my excitement.

It took me a while to get the hang of it, and I had a fucking blast.  I was like a little kid having his first ice cream cone.  Definitely the most fun I’ve had in a long time, and I told her so.  I was hoping we could make a day out of it, but she told me she was hanging out with someone else later on. I knew what that meant – another guy from OKC.  And there went my plans and hopes for the rest of the day.  So I proposed another outing for the following week, but she sounded very non-committal.  Needless to say, I left there feeling a bit disappointed.  Still, I’ve seen her more times than anyone else so far.  I feel very comfortable with her, but I don’t feel any real spark yet.  So we’ll see.

When I got home I logged into OKC and found a new message from this girl I’ve been talking to.  History Girl.  She’s studying ancient history and recently traveled all over Europe.  So I’d asked her about her travels and she was like, “I did so much, I hardly even know where to begin!”

I sensed an opportunity, so I wrote back:  “I would love to hear all about your travels.  Let’s grab some drinks and you can tell me all about them.  I haven’t traveled much myself, so it’s always a treat for me to listen to stories of where others have been.”

History Girl:  “Yeah we can definitely grab a drink, that sounds like fun.  Let me know when you’re free.”

Me:  “Well, come to think of it I’m actually free later tonight, although that’s probably a bit short notice?”

HG:  “Not at all!  Around when were you thinking?”

So we met at 8 at the Starbucks in her town.  Right off the bat I could tell she wasn’t interested in me.  She just gave off this weird vibe.  I don’t think she found me physically attractive, so she proceeded to go through our date with the air of someone wanting to get things over with quickly.  The original plan was to sit by the water and chat, but instead we were practically power-walking around town.  I felt like asking whether she was in a rush to be someplace else.

Our messages back and forth were light and easy, but our conversation in person was anything but. She hardly asked anything about myself, and whenever I asked her a question about anything I’d get a one-sentence reply.

Me:  “So – tell me about some of your travels?”

HG:  “Well… I just came back from Spain.”

Me:  “Yeah?  What did you do there?”

HG:  “I was working there for two months.”

Me:  “Cool.  What kind of work?”

HG:  “I was an archivist.”

And so on.  It was like pulling teeth.  A far cry from the boatloads of travel stories she said she had.  Clearly she wasn’t interested in sharing any, so I ended up doing most of the talking.  Which probably just irritated her more, because she kept responding with “uh-huh” and “okay” and “yeah.”  Finally I decided I’d had enough. When she pulled out her phone to text for the third time, I called it a night.

“Yeah, I’m actually meeting my roommate and her friend for dinner, so I have to go anyway.”

“Okay, well have fun,” I told her.  We parted ways and that was that.  A supreme waste of time, but at least it was only a half-hour.  But I’m glad I took the chance, because you never know.

First dates:  13
Second dates:  1
Third dates:  1
Cancellations:  3
Stood up:  2
Sexual experiences:  0.5

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19 thoughts on “Yakking

  1. Hi there! I came across your blog while trying to find success stories from online dating. From what I’ve read so far, I love your blog! I’m a new fan and look fwd to your adventures! Hope it all goes well for you!

      • No, I’m not. I’m catching up on reading your other posts. Do you tell women upfront that you’re a virgin? [I’m assuming you are based on other comments–still catching up on reading.] I like your counter. I’m also surprised (in a good way) about how rational you seem in your approach to dating in general. I second the other comment about a 3rd date+ count. But either way, hope it all goes well for you!

  2. Love that you are taking chances and putting yourself out there, because honestly you just never know… Ever.

    I feel like I need a “Team Virgin” shirt or something to rock here in Nola.

  3. You befuttle me. I just can’t figure you out.
    How can you see a girl as a normal human being when the
    hurdle of sex is between you? Are you “saving yourself” for the
    proper girl? And if you’re not relaxed she can pick up on it.
    At least girls don’t flee from you in terror. You have the inside
    track. Don’t ditz around. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself a 56
    year old virgin like me-if you live that long.

  4. Man I’d love to go kayaking! Sounds like fun 🙂 One day I’m going to go kayaking (wait, do Canadians call it canoeing? Or is that different?) with beluga whales in Canada, it’s on the bucket list! Pity she didn’t seem interested……….maybe try asking if you can meet/learn to ride her horses-trust me that goes along way with the horsey sect.
    Vanessa

  5. When a woman says she want to go slow, she is really testing you because what she wants you to do is lush her up against a wall and rip off her panties, would be thoroughly soaked by this time.

  6. “””I feel like we all should start placing bets on how high the counter goes up before the V-Card is punched.”””

    Instead of you she fucked the other dude that night.

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