Neigh

I don’t know what it is with girls and horses, but they’re all over OKC. Seriously, I’ve never come across so many horseback riders and trainers in all my life. Perhaps involvement with horses somehow makes it harder to meet people? Dunno. In any case, the other week I was clicking through profiles when I came across an especially attractive girl. She had a picture of herself, a picture of herself with a horse, and two whole sentences. So I moved onto the next profile. However, she noticed me in her Visitors list and sent me a message.

 

Unlike Horse Girl’s, my profile provided plenty of fodder for conversation.  Was she up for an outdoor adventure?  Hell yes she was, which is why she messaged me.  So a couple of days later we met at a nature preserve near her house.   We took a short hike and then we walked along the beach skipping stones.  Ever prepared, I had a small glass fishbowl with me.  I asked her to pick out a handful of seashells while I placed some sand in the bottom of the bowl.  When she was ready I took the shells from her and carefully arranged them on top of the sand.  “Here,” I said, presenting her with the finished product.  “Something for you to remember our time at the beach together.”  She seemed to like it.

There was a cafe and restaurant at the beach, so we ate there and listened to the 30-piece swing band that was playing, and after they were finished we continued our conversation.  It was getting late and our first date had already lasted at least three-and-a-half hours.  A second date seemed in order.  I’ve learned it’s better to actually arrange the second date at the end of your first date, rather than saying, “I’d like to see you again…” and then arranging it afterwards.  So now I always come prepared, and I suggested my second date idea to her.  She was game.

A few days later she met me at my house and we left from here to visit my old neighborhood which was holding its annual fireman’s parade and carnival.  I bought us tickets and we went on all the rides.  Which I immensely enjoyed because we got to sit very close together – or squished together from centrifugal force.  She apologized because her hair was in my face on one of the rides, but I said I didn’t mind because she smelled very nice and asked her what she used.  “Just soap,” she laughed.  And she was the first girl I’ve gone out with that wasn’t gagging me with the smell of her perfume, so major bonus points for that.  But I relished our close contact, and I experimented all evening with little touches here and there.  An arm around her shoulders.  A hand on the small of her back.  A hand in hers to help her up out of her seat.  She didn’t complain or flinch, which I took to be good signs.

After we finished with the rides I suggested going to a diner.  I hadn’t eaten since lunch, so naturally I was starving.  She tucked into her food, which earned her more bonus points.  I like to eat and I like a girl who likes to eat.  By the time we were finished eating it was starting to get late, so I suggested heading back.  We pulled up in front of my house and we just sat there looking at each other.  She didn’t seem anxious to leave, and I realized that I hadn’t seen her phone anywhere in sight during either our first or second date.  Even more bonus points.

This was my first second date ever, and I was wondering what I should do.  Could I kiss her?  Should I kiss her?  I cleared my throat instead and said there was something I wanted to ask her. So I asked her what she was looking for exactly – something serious, something not-so-serious, just friends?  Well, she said she wasn’t looking for anything serious right away, as she just recently got out of a long-term relationship.

“What about you?” she asked.  Hmm, what about me… for the longest time I’ve been fairly certain that I want a serious, long-term relationship.  But lately I’ve been starting to question just what it is I’m really looking for.  Maybe I’m really only interested in sex.  Hard to say.

“I’m not looking to jump into anything serious right away,” I told her.  “I’m just looking to meet people and see what happens.”  Which is all true.  I was still hesitating a bit, though.  “Still… I was wondering whether I could kiss you good night… or is that moving too fast?”

“Yeah, that is moving too fast.  I don’t want to sound like a baby or anything, but I’d rather have a friendship first,” she said.

“That’s okay.  I’m totally cool with however you want to proceed.  And I’d definitely like to keep seeing you.”  They were having a drive-in movie at the beach we went to for our first date, so she suggested that for our next outing, and I agreed even though it wasn’t for almost another two weeks.  We hugged and said good night and she drove home.

I thought it would be nice to do something in the meantime, so last Tuesday I texted her to see if she wanted to go to a nature preserve this Sunday (today) because they were having a free concert.  She texted back that her mother was coming to visit this week so she wouldn’t be available.  All week?  Does that mean the drive-in movie is out as well, I asked?  No, it might still be doable depending on what day her mother is leaving.  She said she’ll let me know.  No problem.  Friday rolled around and I sent her another text wishing her a nice weekend and hoping she has a good time with her mother.  Just to touch base.  “Aw thanks 🙂 ” was her reply… and that was it.  Not even a “hope you have a nice weekend too” or anything of the sort, which kinda bothered me.  Maybe I’m just over-thinking, but I can’t shake this feeling that things are dropping off with her now.  Guess I’ll just have to wait and see if she contacts me about the movie on Thursday.  Not holding my breath, though.

***

Pharmacy Girl is out of the picture.  I’d decided that I wasn’t interested in her after all.  Nonetheless, I did say I wanted to see her again, so I figured I’d go on a second date just to make sure.  I contacted her to set things up, and here’s what she said:  “I actually went out last night with this really sweet girl I’d been talking to, and I’m kind of crushing on her now.”  So she’s going to pursue that instead.  Works for me.

***

It’s been a month since Marine Girl told me “something came up with family tomorrow and I’ll let you know when’s a good time.” I’ve texted her once or twice in the interim – nothing big deal, just a “hey, how’s it going” and a “haven’t heard from you in a while.” No response. This is the shit that drives me berserk. If you’re not interested, then say you’re not interested. Don’t just put your tail between your legs and slink away into the night and leave me hanging with the story you fed me.

I’m getting to the point where I’m having trouble believing anything a girl says to me anymore.  Like with Horse Girl.  Is she really not looking for anything serious right now, or is she just saying that?  Because when I worked in real estate I remember buyers saying things like, “oh, we’re going to take a break from looking for a while” or “oh, we’ve decided we’re not going to buy a house for at least six months.”  Next thing I knew, they turned around and bought a house the very next week from another agent, once again giving credence to one of the industry’s mantras: “buyers are liars.”  So when it comes to girls, I now find myself constantly wondering whether they’re just giving me a story in lieu of telling me the real deal.

But we’ll see what happens.  In any case, I’m not getting my hopes up anymore.  There are a few new girls I’ve been talking to, none of which have really excited me thus far.

First dates:  10
Second dates:  1
Cancellations:  2
Stood up:  1
Sexual experiences:  0.5

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12 Comments

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12 responses to “Neigh

  1. vixenincognola

    Yay a second date!
    Glad you’re getting out there and testing the waters, it’s amazing what you learn about yourself though experiences with others 🙂
    Happy Hunting!

  2. Chin Up, Chest High!

    Perfectly understandable why you are suspicious. Women pull that shit all the time and then complain when men do it. I always preferred to give them the benefit of the doubt and contact them just once. For me, the ball was then in their court. If they want to see you, they will make the effort.

    I hope things work out with your horse girl!

  3. Like Vixen said, YAY for second dates! 🙂

  4. If she would’ve been interested she would’ve kissed you. Trust me. However your preparation is oh so adorable. Don’t stop doing that! I love that this was your second date-what a fun one! The perfume bit cracked me up. haha!

  5. Lon Spector

    I’m just curious. Will you discontinue this blog, if you DO
    get sex?

    • Hmm. That really depends on how things unfold, I guess. I may transition this blog into a catalog of my sexual exploits – regardless of whether I’m in a relationship or not. Or I may continue recording my efforts at finding a relationship, assuming I’m not in one yet and ultimately want to be. Time will tell, my friend.

  6. Girls with horse photos, hmmm?Yes, that’s a bit odd. On the flip-side, I have a fairly strict policy about avoiding dates with men who have fish photos in their profile. What’s that about? “I am skilled in hunting/gathering”? “I’m outdoorsy and/or own a boat.”? “I’m reasonably comfortable touching wet, squirming bits that may smell slightly of the sea”? I don’t get it.

    • I’ve actually seen plenty of pictures with girls holding up fishes too. I think it’s all about just what you said. lol – in fact you should check out my very first blog post, because it covers all the things girls typically put in their profiles – including the types of pictures they have.

  7. Incidentally, I wish I had conceived of your “keeping score” idea when I was dating regularly. My blog evolved from the crazy dating stories that I was telling my friends & by that time I’d already been at it for several months. I wonder if I could even manage to recall the number of times that I had cancellations & was stood up. Could I offset it with the number of one-timers and the number of dick picks? I think the data could be quite amusing.

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