Monthly Archives: July 2014

Desert

I seem to have run into a dry patch.  I’ve been unable to line up any more dates, and the last week only brought disappointment.  Here’s the rundown:

Horse Girl
First date… second date… and she said she’d like to see me again and “I’ll even pay next time if you’d like…”   First she told me her mother was visiting the following week so she wouldn’t be around, but we still texted back and forth.  Then I wished her a nice weekend and she only responded with “aw thanks!”  Um, okay?  Apparently she didn’t feel the need to wish me a nice weekend in return, which rankled a bit.  Maybe I was just reading too much into it.  But then she never even responded when I asked if she wanted to come to the free concert at the nature preserve this past Sunday.  So I guess she doesn’t want to see me again after all.

Marine Girl
An entire month (and then some) went by after she canceled with the promise of rescheduling.  I finally ran out of patience and sent her a message asking whether she intended to get back to me or whether she was just going to keep me hanging.  I pointed out that she gave the impression of being really interested/excited to meet me, so her lack of response was really confusing – was it something I said?  Meanwhile, I’d already concluded that she was no longer interested. But I just wanted to hear her say it, and maybe even find out why she got cold feet at the last minute.  As I expected, though – still no response.

Irish Girl
I’m sure you can guess what the attraction was here.  But I may as well call her Busy Girl, because she seemed to have absolutely no free time outside of grad school and work and her extra-curricular activities (which include traveling).  We literally had to schedule our first phone call.  Good grief. On top of that, I asked her out on a date but she said she’s not going to have any free time for the next two weeks.  So now I have another item to add to my list of things I’m looking for: time for a relationship.  Anyhoo, in two weeks we’ll see if she has time to finally get together.  Assuming, of course, that she’s not just another one giving me another BS story in lieu of saying “I’m not actually interested.”

Rugby Girl
Because she plays rugby.  But her profile had some nonsensical stuff in it, and since I enjoy that sort of thing I was able to have a bizarre and nutty conversation with her.  We discussed subjects like Were Dinosaurs Killed by STDs? and Could Whales Attack Us At The Beach?  She mentioned she loved cheesecake, and I saw that as my opening.  I invited her out to a cheesecake place, and we agreed on Monday at 7.  Then she deleted her profile before we could finalize things or exchange numbers.  Weird.  I figured that put the kibosh on our plans, but I went to the cheesecake place just in case.  Sure enough, she didn’t show. At least the cheesecake place was only right around the corner from my house, so I didn’t really waste any time.

So that’s all I have to report.  I keep reminding myself that I’m making progress and that I’ve finally started going on dates, but nonetheless I’ve been feeling pretty discouraged lately. So I’m thinking of taking another break from OKC to restrategize and regroup.  Something here is begging for a change, and I gotta figure out what it is…

First dates:  10
Second dates:  1
Cancellations:  2
Stood up:  1
Sexual experiences:  0.5

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Neigh

I don’t know what it is with girls and horses, but they’re all over OKC. Seriously, I’ve never come across so many horseback riders and trainers in all my life. Perhaps involvement with horses somehow makes it harder to meet people? Dunno. In any case, the other week I was clicking through profiles when I came across an especially attractive girl. She had a picture of herself, a picture of herself with a horse, and two whole sentences. So I moved onto the next profile. However, she noticed me in her Visitors list and sent me a message.

 

Unlike Horse Girl’s, my profile provided plenty of fodder for conversation.  Was she up for an outdoor adventure?  Hell yes she was, which is why she messaged me.  So a couple of days later we met at a nature preserve near her house.   We took a short hike and then we walked along the beach skipping stones.  Ever prepared, I had a small glass fishbowl with me.  I asked her to pick out a handful of seashells while I placed some sand in the bottom of the bowl.  When she was ready I took the shells from her and carefully arranged them on top of the sand.  “Here,” I said, presenting her with the finished product.  “Something for you to remember our time at the beach together.”  She seemed to like it.

There was a cafe and restaurant at the beach, so we ate there and listened to the 30-piece swing band that was playing, and after they were finished we continued our conversation.  It was getting late and our first date had already lasted at least three-and-a-half hours.  A second date seemed in order.  I’ve learned it’s better to actually arrange the second date at the end of your first date, rather than saying, “I’d like to see you again…” and then arranging it afterwards.  So now I always come prepared, and I suggested my second date idea to her.  She was game.

A few days later she met me at my house and we left from here to visit my old neighborhood which was holding its annual fireman’s parade and carnival.  I bought us tickets and we went on all the rides.  Which I immensely enjoyed because we got to sit very close together – or squished together from centrifugal force.  She apologized because her hair was in my face on one of the rides, but I said I didn’t mind because she smelled very nice and asked her what she used.  “Just soap,” she laughed.  And she was the first girl I’ve gone out with that wasn’t gagging me with the smell of her perfume, so major bonus points for that.  But I relished our close contact, and I experimented all evening with little touches here and there.  An arm around her shoulders.  A hand on the small of her back.  A hand in hers to help her up out of her seat.  She didn’t complain or flinch, which I took to be good signs.

After we finished with the rides I suggested going to a diner.  I hadn’t eaten since lunch, so naturally I was starving.  She tucked into her food, which earned her more bonus points.  I like to eat and I like a girl who likes to eat.  By the time we were finished eating it was starting to get late, so I suggested heading back.  We pulled up in front of my house and we just sat there looking at each other.  She didn’t seem anxious to leave, and I realized that I hadn’t seen her phone anywhere in sight during either our first or second date.  Even more bonus points.

This was my first second date ever, and I was wondering what I should do.  Could I kiss her?  Should I kiss her?  I cleared my throat instead and said there was something I wanted to ask her. So I asked her what she was looking for exactly – something serious, something not-so-serious, just friends?  Well, she said she wasn’t looking for anything serious right away, as she just recently got out of a long-term relationship.

“What about you?” she asked.  Hmm, what about me… for the longest time I’ve been fairly certain that I want a serious, long-term relationship.  But lately I’ve been starting to question just what it is I’m really looking for.  Maybe I’m really only interested in sex.  Hard to say.

“I’m not looking to jump into anything serious right away,” I told her.  “I’m just looking to meet people and see what happens.”  Which is all true.  I was still hesitating a bit, though.  “Still… I was wondering whether I could kiss you good night… or is that moving too fast?”

“Yeah, that is moving too fast.  I don’t want to sound like a baby or anything, but I’d rather have a friendship first,” she said.

“That’s okay.  I’m totally cool with however you want to proceed.  And I’d definitely like to keep seeing you.”  They were having a drive-in movie at the beach we went to for our first date, so she suggested that for our next outing, and I agreed even though it wasn’t for almost another two weeks.  We hugged and said good night and she drove home.

I thought it would be nice to do something in the meantime, so last Tuesday I texted her to see if she wanted to go to a nature preserve this Sunday (today) because they were having a free concert.  She texted back that her mother was coming to visit this week so she wouldn’t be available.  All week?  Does that mean the drive-in movie is out as well, I asked?  No, it might still be doable depending on what day her mother is leaving.  She said she’ll let me know.  No problem.  Friday rolled around and I sent her another text wishing her a nice weekend and hoping she has a good time with her mother.  Just to touch base.  “Aw thanks 🙂 ” was her reply… and that was it.  Not even a “hope you have a nice weekend too” or anything of the sort, which kinda bothered me.  Maybe I’m just over-thinking, but I can’t shake this feeling that things are dropping off with her now.  Guess I’ll just have to wait and see if she contacts me about the movie on Thursday.  Not holding my breath, though.

***

Pharmacy Girl is out of the picture.  I’d decided that I wasn’t interested in her after all.  Nonetheless, I did say I wanted to see her again, so I figured I’d go on a second date just to make sure.  I contacted her to set things up, and here’s what she said:  “I actually went out last night with this really sweet girl I’d been talking to, and I’m kind of crushing on her now.”  So she’s going to pursue that instead.  Works for me.

***

It’s been a month since Marine Girl told me “something came up with family tomorrow and I’ll let you know when’s a good time.” I’ve texted her once or twice in the interim – nothing big deal, just a “hey, how’s it going” and a “haven’t heard from you in a while.” No response. This is the shit that drives me berserk. If you’re not interested, then say you’re not interested. Don’t just put your tail between your legs and slink away into the night and leave me hanging with the story you fed me.

I’m getting to the point where I’m having trouble believing anything a girl says to me anymore.  Like with Horse Girl.  Is she really not looking for anything serious right now, or is she just saying that?  Because when I worked in real estate I remember buyers saying things like, “oh, we’re going to take a break from looking for a while” or “oh, we’ve decided we’re not going to buy a house for at least six months.”  Next thing I knew, they turned around and bought a house the very next week from another agent, once again giving credence to one of the industry’s mantras: “buyers are liars.”  So when it comes to girls, I now find myself constantly wondering whether they’re just giving me a story in lieu of telling me the real deal.

But we’ll see what happens.  In any case, I’m not getting my hopes up anymore.  There are a few new girls I’ve been talking to, none of which have really excited me thus far.

First dates:  10
Second dates:  1
Cancellations:  2
Stood up:  1
Sexual experiences:  0.5

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Food

Two more dates this past week.  The first was with Burger Girl 2. She professed a love for cheeseburgers, and since the vast majority of girls on OKC enjoy what I call “rabbit food,” that got my attention immediately. Our first-date was a no-brainer. Burgers it was.  When she arrived the first thing I noticed that she was way heavier than her pictures indicated. And she was somewhat shy and awkward. Nonetheless we had a good conversation, and after our meal we took a walk around the plaza. I called it a night shortly afterwards. We both said “it was nice meeting you” and went our separate ways. No attraction. No spark. No big deal. But the burgers were to die for. Oh my God.

Thursday night I went on a date with Pharmacy Girl. Piercings, tattoos, not really my type. But that’s what I’ve been doing on OKC lately: talking to all kinds of girls, including ones that probably aren’t my type. My line of thinking is, let me talk to them anyway just to make sure. You never know who someone might turn out to be. So everybody been’s getting a second look. The fact that I’ve been expanding my horizons on the site is probably what’s been contributing to my new-found success in landing dates. Besides, I want to go on as many dates as possible. This is how I’ll get better at it while figuring out what I’m looking for (and not looking for).

Early in our online conversation, Pharmacy Girl mentioned that she just gotten out of a really long-term relationship – something she said tends to freak people out, so she wanted to get that out of the way. I’m not exactly sure why that would freak anybody out. And how or why does something like that even come up? The past is the past, so why do you need to discuss old relationships when starting a new one? I don’t know, maybe that’s just me. Maybe this is what people do?

But she thinks that would freak people out? Heh, I can top that. Since I didn’t think she was my type, I figured, “Hey, fuck it. Let’s tell her I’m a virgin and see what she thinks. Just for shits and giggles.” You know what? It didn’t freak her out. On the contrary, she was rather intrigued and asked me a lot of questions about it. Then she told me she was coming up with all sorts of ideas on how to corrupt me. Oh really? She also shared some details about her own sexual history. Maybe a bit too much information.

Anyway, we ended up going out to an Italian restaurant. We found plenty more to talk about, especially since we both have crazy dads. She found me quite funny and laughed uproariously at my stories, much to the chagrin of the other patrons. We also swapped obscene jokes, again to the chagrin of the other patrons, but neither one of us seemed to care.  Things went smoothly, things were comfortable… overall it was one of the better dates I’ve been on. It was raining when I drove her back home, and I walked her to the door under the cover of my umbrella. A really small umbrella. (Pro tip: the smaller the umbrella, the closer the girl.) I could have – and probably should have – gone in for the kiss, but I still wasn’t quite sure how I felt about her. So I gave her a hug instead. From what I learned beforehand, I was probably the first guy she didn’t have sex with on the first date.

While I wasn’t sure whether I was interested, I was still intrigued and wanted a second date to help me decide. We’ve been talking ever since but we’ve been unable to find a time and day that works for both of us. And now it seems the conversation is tapering off. A second date may or may not happen. And you know what? I’m perfectly fine with that. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll simply move onto the next one. As it is, there are three more girls I’m working on getting dates with, and another three I’m talking to and trying to get a feel for. It’s very likely that I’ll another date or two for this coming week. I’m very happy because this is exactly how I want to spend my summer – going on lots of dates and learning about myself in the process.

Finally, I’ve decided to add a date counter to the end of my blog posts (I may do this retroactively as well). I thought it would be a good way for everybody to keep track.

First dates:  9
Second dates:  0
Cancellations:  2
Stood up:  1
Sexual experiences:  0.5

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Snow

I had set a date with the girl I mentioned at the end of my last blog post. Let’s call her Marine Girl, because she was very much into marine life. In fact, we were into a lot of same things and really hitting it off. A few great emails and phone conversations later and we were all set to go. Then she sent me a message the night before we were supposed to meet:

“I’m sorry to reply so late in the hour but something’s come up tomorrow with family and I’m no longer going to be available to hang out. I’ll get back to you when would be a better time. Sorry again to cancel short notice.”

It’s been over a week since then and I haven’t heard a whisper from her. Nor do I expect to. Damn.  I was really excited about meeting her, and I thought she was too. Don’t know why she flaked out at the last minute like that.

 

Onto the next one. Let’s call her Kinky. Pretty self-explanatory. We talked for a week before I suggested we meet. I decided to go for something more formal than I usually do for a first date. I named a restaurant near her and asked if she’d like to go.

“Yeah… no. Somebody got beaten and sodomized in one of the bathrooms there. It’s become a preference of mine that my first dates not take place anywhere someone had been previously sodomized… sorry if that’s a deal breaker.”

Wow. Okay, so maybe that place was no good after all. But I couldn’t tell whether she was being funny or passive-aggressive with that remark. I decided to let that one slide. So I suggested another restaurant in her area.

“If you don’t mind I’d rather go to a different one. My ex’s parents frequent that place, along with some other people I don’t like.”

Tricky customer, eh? I suggested another place.

“Oh no… I’ve been there before and found the food to be pretty gross.”

[Sigh] Well, you know your area better than I do. What would you suggest?

“Well, I don’t have a car, so I’m pretty limited in where I can go.”

Now she tells me. I only knew of one other place before I’d have to resort to Google, but that wasn’t any good either:

“Sorry, that’s a little too far for me.”

I finally asked her where’d she like to go, and she didn’t care for that.

“Seriously? Do I have to plan the whole date?”

Jesus Christ, really? I pointed out that I was making an effort to do just that, but she was shooting down every one of my suggestions.

“Well, you’ll just have to come up with something. You’re the guy.”

While this whole back and forth was taking place, I’d managed to find her on Facebook. I started scrolling through her photos and suddenly I came across shots of her protesting and holding up placards for “Womyn’s Rights.” Oh, hell no. Not another feminist. I’m not going down that road again. So between that and her sudden attitude, I told her I was going to pass on the date. She replied with “whatever” and that was the end of the conversation. Phew. I think I really dodged a bullet with that one.

Back to the drawing board.

I started up another round of messaging and got replies from half of them so far.  Some of the others have yet to read my messages, so I may get more replies yet.  I’m making more of an effort to properly vet these girls, and I have a handful that appear fairly serious and non-flaky. In fact, I’m pleased to report that I have three new dates lined up for this week!

Look for an update after the Fourth.  🙂

 

First dates:  7
Second dates:  0
Cancellations:  2

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