“I want to show you my pussy…” PYT whispered to me. I was so startled I nearly whacked myself in the head with the phone. We’d spent the first two weeks talking and getting to know each other. Once that stage was out of the way, we spent the next two weeks telling each other all the dirty things we wanted to do to each other. She started sending me pictures of herself in various states of undress. Thong a t-shirt. Thong and a bra. Thong and nothing else.
Finally we moved things to the phone, and I was greatly relieved to hear that she was a real live breathing girl, and not some balding 40yo fat-assed dude sitting in a front of his computer in his bathrobe jacking off on his keyboard. And now she wanted to show me more. Go for it, I said.
She did. Now, I’ve seen pictures and videos of vaginas and many times I’ve found them grotesque and slightly scary. I’d wager good money that most girls don’t even like looking at their own junk. But she sent me a picture of hers and it was absolutely beautiful. Rabbits held hands and danced in a circle in front of it. A unicorn looked out of it, winking as if to beckon me inside.
This seemed too good to be true.
The cracks didn’t take long to form. For starters, she was a feminist. One of *those* feminists. Certain trigger words would set her off. Like “friend zone.” It never occurred to me that the phrase could be that much of a problem for anyone, but it certainly was for her. I asked her why and she lost her shit. Just because I asked a question… imagine if I’d unwittingly dropped the phrase into the conversation! She was completely disgusted with me: “If you seriously don’t understand what’s wrong with it, then stop talking to me right now because I’m not dealing with any of that misogynistic bullshit.”
What the hell.
“You know, I’m able to have a conversation about things without losing my cool,” I told her. “I’m starting to feel like I have to walk around eggshells around you, because I can only wonder what other trigger words might set you off. I was only asking you to explain your point of view. There’s no reason to bite my head off.” Especially over something as silly as this, I thought to myself. However, that only aggravated her further.
Another one of her pet peeves was “gender-biased remarks,” but then she’d turn around say things like, “men are assholes.” Well, isn’t that a gender-biased remark? I decided to ask her about it, and that was a mistake too. Yet another mistake was the time I expressed a preference for women without tattoos, and she almost didn’t even want to talk to me because she thought I was making a “gender-specific remark.” Good grief. For the record, I don’t care for men or women with tattoos, but nor do I feel like I should have to qualify everything I say.
She was quickly proving to be insufferable in conversation. After years of dealing with my father, I need to be with someone with whom I can be myself without having to watch myself. The more PYT and I talked, the more I started realizing what a hair-trigger temper she had. No bueno. And she hadn’t even heard any of my jokes yet! Those would have really landed me in deep shit. And the only thing feminists hate more than a sexist joke is having it explained to them by a man.
But as much as a deal-breaker as that was, there was an even bigger one that did me in. I told her I wanted to meet her, and she told me it would be really hard to arrange because her parents were really controlling.
“Not for nothing, but you’re 21 years old. Don’t think you’re old enough to make your own decisions now?” That made her madder than anything else I’d said to her.
“What the fuck do you want me to do, sneak out of the house?? Tell them, ‘fuck you, I’ll do what I want’? I’m not in high school anymore!” she fumed.
“Umm… yeah, that’s kind of my point actually. You’re not in high school anymore. You’re an adult now,” I said.
“Well, it’s not like I didn’t just explain the situation to you, but whatever. God, what the hell do you want me to do?”
“Well, what are you doing on the site then? You knew this was going to be an issue – didn’t you have any kind of plan on how to meet if you came across someone you really liked?”
“No. I actually didn’t expect to meet anyone I really liked on here. You were the only decent guy I talked to, but now I don’t even know what to think of you after this conversation… besides, I’ve met girls off here (she’s bisexual) and my parents didn’t think anything of it. It’s only guys they have a problem with,” she explained. Which brought us back to my original point that she was too old to have Mommy and Daddy tell her what do. And that’s a point I’d like to extend to anyone reading this. Never mind 21 – at 18 I wouldn’t let my parents try to run my life and tell me what to do. There comes a point when you really need to start asserting yourself as an adult.
Finally I told her I was ending things. “We can’t have calm rational discussions, we can’t meet, and I need someone with a little more independence.” To top things off, I learned that not only was she going away for two months, but there was a good chance she’d be going away permanently by the end of the year. “I’m looking for a relationship with potential, and there doesn’t seem to be any here.” That really steamed her clams.
And that’s how it ended. She deleted her OKC profile shortly afterwards. I feel bad for any guy that tries to talk to her when she’s 30, because she has such a crappy attitude towards men already and that’s certainly not going to improve with age.
In other news, I reached out to Golf Girl again. She responded with, “I had a fun time, but I’m sorry, I’m not interested.” I was expecting this, but I was still really surprised considering that I thought we had gotten on so well. And with that I was back to zero. Nothing left to do but to get back on OKC and start sending out more messages. I’m still on my winning streak! As of this writing I have nine messages in my inbox that need replies. I’m also working on lining up three more dates for this coming week. One of them is with The Talker. This will be my first second date – ought to be interesting! Any tips will be greatly appreciated.