Over the weekend I had a semi-date with a girl I’ve been crushing on for a long time. She’s recently single and I made a move. This was my chance at last. I asked if she’d like to get together and grab some food and sit and chat. We’d been Facebook friends for a long time, and while we talked a lot and knew a lot of the same people our paths had somehow never crossed. So I was a nervous wreck to be meeting her properly for the first time. All last week I was dropping stuff, knocking things over, running to the bathroom to pee 20 times a day… feeling heart flutters, stomach flip-flops, and shortness of breath… She was the first girl in a long time that seriously interested me, and someone I could actually see myself with.
The big day finally arrived and I did absolutely everything I could to get ready. I got a haircut and even bought a new pair of pants just for the occasion. I met her at the local diner and when she walked through the door I was just – wow. I was quite taken with her. We slid into a booth and I could have sat there all night just drinking in her image. I barely took my eyes off of her.
Things started out well, but as the evening progressed I just got more and more tongue-tied. That was the effect she was having on me. I didn’t make any serious blunders and I avoided putting my foot in my mouth, but overall I felt like I didn’t make a very good first impression.
After almost an hour-and-a-half we hugged and parted ways, and I said “maybe we should get together again sometime down the road…” She responded with a “yeah, maybe” but didn’t sound very enthusiastic. And with that I went home with a heavy heart. I felt like I just blew a very important job interview. Ugh. And now that she’s no longer sitting in front me, I can think of hundred things I could have said, could have asked about, should have said instead…as always, I think of the best responses hours or days later. FML.
So that was that. I’d like to give it another chance. Maybe I’ll ask her if she wants to get together again. A while back I’d clued her into a cool local nature spot (we’re both into that kind of stuff), and once the weather gets a little warmer I’ll drop her a line and see if she wants to come along with me to check it out. I didn’t get any sense when I met her that she was interested in me like I was interested in her, but we’ll see. In any case, right now it looks like I can probably cross her off my list.
Unfortunately, there’s nobody else on my list right now. Not only have I not received any new messages on OKC, but nobody’s even visited my profile lately. I logged in for the first time in almost two weeks and there wasn’t a single notification waiting for me. I’m wondering if I should revert to a previous version of my profile, because what I have now doesn’t seem to be working this time around.
I’m already involved in various groups/organizations/activities. Most of the girls I meet there are already in relationships, engaged, or married. The few that are available are either not appealing or not interested. I’m not sure what else I can do right now to meet new people. I can’t fill up my social calendar any more than it already is – I’m already out and about 4-5 nights a week, and now that my job is picking up I’m going to be working like gangbusters from now through December.
30 is starting to loom uncomfortably on the horizon. I don’t have a deadline for being in a relationship (and consequently losing my virginity), but I really don’t want to have spent the entirety of my twenties being single with a total of only one or two dates to show for it. I follow blogs by my peers and I read all about the dates they’re going on and the great sex they’re having and all the fun things they’re doing with their significant others, and it makes me sad. This is time of my life that I want to be experiencing these things, and I feel like I’m really missing out.
I hate when people say things to me like, “Oh, don’t worry, so-and-so didn’t find someone until he was almost 50.”
Um, yeah, that doesn’t cheer me one bit.
First dates: 2
Second dates: 0