Your boy has been quite the social butterfly over the past few weeks. First I went into the city to see an old friend perform with her band. I hadn’t seen her in at least ten years and she looked the same as ever. After the show we went out to eat at a soup and burger place just down the street. It almost felt like we were on a date (except I’m not attracted to her like that). Then we took a cab back to the train station. My first ever NYC cab ride. There’s an item that wasn’t on my bucket list.
Next up was a wine and cookie swap. It was hosted by that friend of mine who broadcasts all her relationship drama on Facebook, the same one who planned several other parties throughout the year but canceled each one. I half-expected this one to get the ax as well, but she followed through and I was glad. The guest list was mostly female and I didn’t want to miss out. Plus it was an opportunity to wear my ugly Christmas sweater, and several others wore theirs too. (Closest I’ve gotten yet to an ugly sweater party.)
Procuring wine was easy but we were required to bring homemade cookies. Well, I’m a bit of a whiz in the kitchen so I had no trouble making my first batch ever. However I didn’t realize the recipe would yield so many (pro tip: read the fine print). I found myself sitting on my kitchen floor at 1:30 in the morning eating cookies until I could fit the rest in the container. They were a hit though, so now I can add baked goods to my list of talents.
We spent most of the night playing “Have You Ever?” type drinking games – all of a sexual nature. In the past I would have excused myself to save face, but I was happy and relieved to be able to take part now. I’m no longer on the outside looking in. However my cup sat mostly idle in my hand. I watched as the others – including the two other guys that came with their girlfriends – took drink after drink in response to the questions. There are a LOT of things I haven’t done yet.
I recently turned 34, but sometimes I feel like I have the sexual and dating development of a 21 year old. At the very least I wish I was in the place I am now at that age. As the game unfolded I sized up the others, especially the guys. They didn’t seem that different from myself, so how did I miss out on all this stuff? Why am I still lagging behind? And the girls… turns out they were pretty freaky, especially the one sitting closest to me. She was cute as hell and caught my eye, but she barely acknowledged my presence.
The conversation later turned to astrology and her friend asked me if I was a Sagittarius. Surprised, I answered in the affirmative and asked how she knew. “I could tell by the way you walked in. You were working the room.” I was? I thought I just walked in normally. But okay, I’ll take it. Wasn’t sure how to respond to that. The matter was forgotten entirely when Frosty the Snowman came on and I made a wisecrack about that being the next holiday song people take offense to: “Next year it’ll be Frosty the Snowperson.”
The guy next to me chimed in with his thoughts on sex and gender and rape culture. Turns out that Astrology Girl is also a super-feminist sex therapist and women’s studies professor and she just went off on him. Oh boy. They went back and forth for ten minutes until she finally threw up her hands and stalked off to the kitchen in high dudgeon. She later ditched out with her cute freaky friend to hit up another party. Oh well.
Aside from that it was a rollicking good time, and I went to another party the next day. This one was a White Elephant. I’m learning about all new kinds of parties now. It was also a potluck so I brought my garlic roasted potatoes. They were a smash hit. But with the exception of the co-host it was a total sausage fest. I still had a good time. I went to my marching band’s holiday party later in the week, spent Christmas Eve with the family, hosted a couple of people for New Year’s… and now I’m just about partied out.
In other news, I’m on vacation from now until April. So I’m using the time off from work to cultivate my hobbies and get things in shape around here. I’ve already fixed my car, bought my mother a new car, redid my kitchen (complete with new table and chairs), went to a jam session, restarted my gym program… all within the first week. I’m kicking ass over here. I’m even thinking about getting back into dancing once classes resume on the 29th.
But while I’m putting my place in order, I’m being mindful of things. I once read that if you want someone in your life, make sure there’s space for someone in your life – literally. Leave an empty drawer or closet space for her to put her things, make sure there’s room to get out on her side of the bed, etc. While I’m not looking to live with anyone, I do want to make sure things are clean, comfortable and accessible should I have an overnight guest in the future.
I also read a Wall Street Journal piece on Peter O’Sullivan, a former Google exec who went to great lengths renovating his house to accommodate a future family. “He asked for two kids’ bedrooms and lots of bins for toys. In his master bedroom closet he created spaces for high-heeled shoes; in the master bath he made velvet-lined makeup and jewelry drawers, going so far as to wonder whether his future wife would wear hoop earrings or bracelets. Realizing he tended to date women around 5-foot-7 in height, Mr. O’Sullivan asked that all the home’s furniture and cabinetry accommodate [that].”
“In early 2008, when everything was all planned out and designed and the house was under construction, Mr. O’Sullivan met Nava Gabbay, a cosmetic dentist. On an early date, Ms. Gabbay got a peek at Mr. O’Sullivan’s then-unfinished home and said she was impressed by his thoughtfulness in creating spaces for kids and a wife. ‘I thought he really had his act together,’ she said. They got married in 2009, just after the house was finished, and now live there with their 8-month-old baby.” So while he may have taken this to an extreme, it did work out for him in the end.
And finally, I intended to break from Bumble at least until after the holidays, but I broke down a few days before Christmas and found myself back on the app. That means I have some more dates to blog about. Coming very soon in my next post…